By still learning - 26/02/2012 17:42 - Canada

Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 050
You deserved it 7 961

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Xquisite1 28

Wow! Balls the size of a tell me--How do you find underwear to fit your massive man globes?


KentuckyRebel92 8

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Yes, it's a common tradition in Canada to shave your globes (light bulbs) before inserting them. Q.How many Canadians does it take to screw in a globe? A. 2- one to shave it and one to turn it in.

His balls are so big he needs to call them globes.

Every guy can relate. Every guy who manscapes that is....

#1. You've tried to post an FML 13 times and have yet to succeed. That an FML in it's self!

I think he was just making a comment on how stupid the phrase globes sound.

Lol I think the most I've ever was 16 but I didn't comment cuz it looked like a very disturbed individual and I didn't want be douche.

Nope 41 got him beat! She's got 18! And shes backing #1 cuz their cuzins (both from Kentucky)

KentuckyRebel92 8

I knew what this meant I was just saying how dumb it sounded..

Were you trying to use above-average-length words to make yourself sound smarter? If so, the way that comment was worded just canceled it out. Im referring to "I was indeed just meaning...", yes I'm the chief of the grammar police. Come at me bro.

KentuckyRebel92 8

What? That ain't want I said..?

GRRRR YOU CHANGED IT! Everyone disregard my other comment. He's probably mad at me for a previous lecture and is trying to set me up. :l

On the contrary darlin', that is EXACTLY what you said. You out to get me or something?

KentuckyRebel92 8

Chill man. I don't even know you. Yes I changed it before I even read your comment because I thought it sounded dumb.. I didn't even realize it showed up. sorry.

At least he didn't call them 'happy sacks'.

skyeyez9 24

The Americans who live in the south never cease to amaze me with their profound lack of intelligence.

nublets 12

71- **** your confederate flag

DontModMeDammit 10

Keyboard, if you are the chief then why is the comma on the outside of the quotation mark?

megamandude455 10

109, the reason that is is because if there's a quote which isn't necessarily part of the statement being made, the punctuation goes outside. If the quote is part of the statement, such as in a book's paragraph and a subject is speaking, punctuation goes inside the quote.

blegehlehgleh 0

If someone had 52 fmls, and they're ALL rejected, that just means their life is so ******, it's not even funny

The_Troller 14

Or maybe none of them are FML worthy (which is why they didn't make it) and the person actually has a pretty good life.

KentuckyRebel92 8
Darkruler 5

Please at least attempt to hold a higher standard for us Kentuckians, #1.

KentuckyRebel92 8

It just sounded so dumb to call your balls your "globes"

Banana_Pancakes6 0

I could be wrong here, but I'm pretty sure your globes can't be fisted....

Wouldnt want to have sex with my globes being all cut up.

Well at least its better than being fisted by edward cullen

RedPillSucks 31

Edward Scissorhands, not Edward Cullen. No self respecting vampire would want to get blood via the tea bag route of cupping someones globes. Then again, twilight did have some sorry-ass vampires.

I would like to be fisted by Edward Cullen… no ****

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justlo 0

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GoW_Chick 14

It's more like he's so loose Johnny Depp can fist him.

Xquisite1 28

Wow! Balls the size of a tell me--How do you find underwear to fit your massive man globes?

RedPillSucks 31

He's the originator of the "Do you have 16 lbs balls?" harrassing phone call.

15 - judging from the comments on FML, "human brain size" can range from pea sized to basketball sized :p

Haha. In the movie when the lady gets a haircut. She's all having an ******. x)

jerseyboy732 16

shaving your balls??? thats crazy bro your better off just going at them carefully with a pair of scissors. easier and less painful

Yeah until he cuts his skin off and he starts bleeding

jerseyboy732 16

which would you choose? a razor that you just slide over your skin, or scissors which you have full control over the blade could easily accidentally cut yourself with scissors, man...

Shit I use a proglide razor, out isn't hard a long as you do it carefully

it's why I never man scape while running

eastsidesoldier 7

No trust me a razor is safer than scissors

razors leave stubble though... so scissors ftw

razors shouldn't leave unless it's blunt or you're shaving down wards. razors I'd say are safer as you can get strips at the top and bottom to keep it moisturized at the same time. scissors? you have to hover ever so slightly over the skin, what happens if your hand shakes?

Ur an idiot. Goodluck with no balls.

93- I'm pretty sure if razors leave stubble, scissors leave stumble. Either way, it's not like you're waxing.

Just use the the buzz cutters, no pain and the guard keeps you from cutting yourself.

So Edward Scissorhands fisted your globes?

I cannot unsee the mental image that I received from reading this.

tomatorawr3 0

I'm a girl and I winced a little...

Fx13mz 7

I'm a guy and I winked a little ;).

Wouldn't it make more sense if he tickled his globes? ;) he was probably plotting his course for the next time he traveled down south ;)

Redoxx_fml 22

And Freddy Kruger did the rest

perdix 29

That sucks balls. . . for therapeutic purposes, of course.

well maybe if you didnt shave them once a year it would be this way

He probably avoids shaving for this reason. If OP can't handle a razor, he should toughen up and get 'em WAXED.

Kkboreland 5

Um this is a random question... So I've gotten brazzilian waxes before and it hurt like a mother f#%^*~£ if a guy waxes his balls which would hurt more: girls or boys?