Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was playing rugby. I was tackled very hard at the end of a play, and I got up to find my head bleeding profusely. Not one person offered to drive me to the ER. I had to drive myself to get six stitches in the face. FML
Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML
Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML
Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML
Today, while practicing my gymnastics routine on the uneven bars, I was so distracted by my teammates' conversation about a party later that I miscalculated my flip and smacked my head on a bar. Ten stitches and a concussion later, I was left alone in the hospital. FML
Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML
Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
Today, I was rushed to hospital with two ribs sticking out of my chest, with blood everywhere, but did I get sympathy from my sister? No, I got accused of being hit by a forklift on purpose to ruin her birthday party, then she tried to rip my bandages off to "prove I was faking the whole thing" and split my stitches. FML
Today, I had a horrible head injury that prevented me from going to my girlfriend's birthday party, and when my mom answered my phone, she thought my mom was a girl I was cheating with. Even after posting on Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat, in places she hasn't blocked me on, she just commented that I was faking. FML
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Top comments
X109 0
y are u just texting people that ur in the hospital...."Hey im in the hospital"...u sound like a tool and thats mad akward
adelaide_evening 0
Sometimes digging for sympathy and attention backfires.
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Comments (272)
AmyBeth 0
Why the heck are you texting people telling them you're in the hospital. Do you like expect them to feel bad for you? I mean really, thats like major attention needy. I suggest don't tell them unless they ask if you want the attention.
ditlihi 0
Well you're texting people and the message, "I'm hurt. Show me you feel sorry for me." WTF? If you want kindness, you won't get it from texting. Tell ya what. Hospitals still have this antique device called a telephone. Call a friend.
genius_girl16 0
Ya YA that sucks! im so sorry! and #69 you dont even make sense i mean its not like bugs are crawling on you!
Emwo 0
wait you were conscious while getting stitches to get out your phone and text? I thought they don't allow phones in hospitals unless it's a lobby or something...
tahillia 0
It seems like people may hate you for a reason. Plus, you have to be a total turd to text your whole contact list and say, "I'm in the hospital," just because you got some stitches. I had a friend get brain surgery and she didn't text her whole contacts list to tell them about it.
shortshan 0
#9 you fail.
brittbrittT 0
why did you text EVERYONE in your contacts? are you trying to get sympathy from people? .. well too bad, NO ONE CARES. suck it up.
ren13nicole 0
why did you text everyone in your phone that? seems pretty lame to me.
live_and_learn 0
was your cousin kidding, or do you two hate eachother? lol
24788 7
You must of done something to him.