Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML
Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML
Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me she "had a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So I hurried home, only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML
Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend did the whole "break up with your boyfriend and kick him out of the house" thing from the movies. Except it's my house. She kept my stuff. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend moved out. I came back to a sparsely furnished home; she'd even taken the shower head, my beard trimmer, and the soap from the bathroom. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML
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Top comments
SorrowFull 8
Turn her ass in. Theft is theft.
Midrash 5
Send her a text saying "took our naked pic n youtubed it"
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Comments (282)
KK3137 31
I feel for you man, but you've got to admire her. That is just plain evil genius!
KnucklesDeep 5
Does the dumb little **** not realize you can file charges against her for this? Assuming, of course, you have the stones to do it.
captainbj2 0
Keep the note and sue her ass...you'll get the money at least... Proof she did it!
Dollface78 7
Op That Sucks .
Honeybadger87 2
Pwned
lizardlols 0
Breaking up like a boss.
thatkidd95 0
what a bitch!!
badactor009 0
Hunt that bitch down and make her sorry she ever knew you. There is long list of get back ideas. Some are pretty evil.
EvilDave 13
OP, have her arrested for theft, dealing in stolen property, and false information to a pawn broker.
allknowingbrony 5
There are many options here. 1. get the cops involved, 2. hunt her down and kill her, 3. break into her house and steal and pawn her stuff, 4. some 4th thing.