Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML
Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML
Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me she "had a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So I hurried home, only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML
Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend did the whole "break up with your boyfriend and kick him out of the house" thing from the movies. Except it's my house. She kept my stuff. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend moved out. I came back to a sparsely furnished home; she'd even taken the shower head, my beard trimmer, and the soap from the bathroom. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SorrowFull 8
Turn her ass in. Theft is theft.
Midrash 5
Send her a text saying "took our naked pic n youtubed it"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (282)
gingerninger18 5
What a bitch
sabor_ranchero 12
FYL indeed. Stealing your stuff was way low. Still, it would be nice to have more context on some FMLs such as this one. I mean, she had a reason to do it, even if it doesn't justify her actions. Hope you can get your stuff back soon, OP.
EvilDave 13
Justified? Really? Please explain to us what justifies stealing his stuff and pawning. Here in Florida, she is guilty of three felonies? BTW, would you be considering it might be justified if it was a woman who's things had been pawned by her ex? I think not, you hypocrite.
WizardMermen 3
#157 said it DOESN'T justify her actions. Read more carefully before going off on someone.
sabor_ranchero 12
#215 Hypocrite? Really? Says the one practically calling me a sexist in a chauvinistic post. Please, as #219 said, read carefully before replying and let's try keeping the name-calling for kindergarten, okay? Thanks.
Daralea 21
Yes, she had a reason to do it. The reason was that she was a bitch with no spine to confront issues in a logical manner.
deathzombie1314 0
At least she's honest?
False_Stupidity 42
An honest thief? Seems like an oxymoron..
hedyd4u2liv 0
No reason for that at all!!! If she wanted to leave, just leave!! Women always gotta trash your car....clothes... Place... Just leave!!! Do better that is the ultimate revenge! As for you...use the note to sue her and buy all new stuff
TipsyHobo 7
At least you can still FML... o.o always a bright side.
TipOfTheHat 10
That's called theft, call the cops!
saxy1of6_fml 9
Make a list of the stuff she sold, look up the values of the items she sold, and sue!!! Best way of revenge without getting in trouble ;)
playahhhh4 3
ahh caaall the cops on her!
guitarplayer546 0
Keep the note? Go to the police? Lawyer that bitch and get paid, maybe you did something so douchey you deserved it
faith94m 5
you need to tell her that she can't pawn the genital warts she'll be finding soon.