Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in practically every room of the house. She had then rubbed her butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I tried to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my cat had the bright idea of giving birth in the dryer, on top of all my new white towels. FML
Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML
Today, at 32 weeks pregnant, I found my boyfriend passed out face down in his own vomit. Not only does our freshly-painted game room now smell like a dirty bar, but he also let our 2 strictly indoor cats outside. They have yet to return. FML
Today, I took in an old friend’s fat cat for a month until she finds a place to live. Turns out the cat isn’t fat, just pregnant. I found out when I found two of her dead kittens in my living room. FML
Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML
Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML
Today, I watched as my poor old cat dragged his ass across our living room carpet, leaving an equally long shit stain on our pristine carpet. My pleas for him to stop only made his diarrhea worse as he ran off. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Today, I noticed my cat was about to vomit on the rug and yelled at her to move. She spooked and managed to throw up while running. I still had to clean up the rug. FML
Today, while dog sitting, the dog peed on the carpet. There was a bottle of cleaning spray on the counter so I sprayed the spot. Turns out that spray was Clorox Bleach. Now their carpet is bright orange. FML
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Top comments
Fishfanatic 7
Oh >.< That's horrid. Poor cat! Did you not take her to the vets recently? They could surely have done a scan to see if the kittens were ok ( which we now know they weren't ).
perdix 31
You could start selling little Italian flags. You know, with the red, the white and the green.
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Comments (239)
Person1233 13
The site is called "**** My Life" There is no such rule.
cthomb 0
why the f__k would you keep a cat alive in your studio apartment?
Jewelofagal 2
It's better than keeping a dead cat in a studio apartment?
Jewelofagal 2
a;dlsfjkae;lk
bethan1 4
Maybe it was a bloody vulcan body? Eh?
bethan1 4
That was meant to be a reply to 26
FerrariCake 2
Good thing you explained that... it does make much more sense when connected to #26. But as a stand-alone comment it wasn't bad either.
iPunchedBigFoot 5
Damn. I would definitely get rid of that cat. It's not it's fault. But every time I saw the spot on the carpet I would want to destroy the cat.
bethan1 4
I think you missed the stillborn part. OP now has dead kittens. Or maybe you didn't and you're just really creepy?
tinybear93 0
I think your cat is retarted.
Jewelofagal 2
#42 -- I believe you mean "retarded", not "retarted".
beehardxcore 26
#42 - I think you're an ignorant dumbass.
Igor_g5 0
Who uses bleach on carpet?
underyourbreath 8
Those who have never had to take blood stains out of their carpet before. ¬_¬ That shit doesn't just come out with soap and water..