By ilivealoneandwhatthefuck - 23/06/2013 17:02 - Guam - Yigo

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML
I agree, your life sucks 65 205
You deserved it 4 310

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Top comments

It has begun. Hide yo wife, hide yo kids; no-body is safe.

Comments

It seems like you may have a small problem, be short in your response or else you may get to gnome the person better than you want to.

When you see TuPac...

Make sure you have a baseball bat ready.. Though there isn't a gnome cause yet, it's better to be safe than to come up short.

Why? I would love to get some free gnomes.

Where did you keep the tapes? If someone could get in to your house they also could erase them..

It's a gnomageddon!!

Who all has keys to your house

So the logical thing to do is get on the internet and tell us about it?

That would be a great conversation. Op: "I would like to report a crime." Cops: "go ahead" Op: someone keeps leaving gnomes on my property." Cops:....... Op: they also broke in and left gnomes in my house." Cops:"so you have gnome idea who is doing this?" *snicker, snicker* Op:...

Have to agree with 71. Lawn ornaments can get pricey. Appreciate the gifts.

cops wont do anything.. they need possible suspects.. what op should do is get alarm system that way for sure no one can get in and put cameras inside the house placed by the windows.that way no one can mess with them.

It is more that they GOT INTO YOUR HOUSE! Whatever the reason - that isn't good. Though it seems likely it is a friend or family member who has regular access is doing it as a prank.

It has begun. Hide yo wife, hide yo kids; no-body is safe.

Hey, the culprit sure does gnome what he's doing.

Of course. So naturally, there's gnome shortage of intrigue in this case; with what little we have as clues meaning that we are pretty much delving into the ungnome. We could always go for microanalyses, but there's gnome telling what our yields would be. Worst case scenario, things don't measure up, and we end up short-changed.

"Gnomeo, oh Gnomeo! Where art thou?", "Right here honey"... Appears in your bed next to you, placed on a pillow looking at you menacingly.

If Gnome be rough with you, be rough with Gnome. Prick Gnome for pricking and you beat Gnome down.

One day the world will look up to me and say "help me" and I will look down and whisper back "Gnomore".

What if the culprit is a gnome criminal?

I believe I'll gnominate this FML for creepiness award

Because gnomatter what, it can be a serious issue

Gnomebody knows the trouble I've seen, Gnomebody knows but Jesus

Personally, i have gnome idea what pleonasm is talking about. They are gnomes, not rapists. But if you gno-me better, you probably would hide from me instead.

well you know what they say it takes one to gnome one

This really is such an epic way to mind-fuck somebody. It sucks to be on the receiving end of it of course. You do have to give them the mad fat dumbass bomb shit props though. A+ for creativity (and dedication)

Guys, your gnome jokes are boring and frankly, they make me lawn. Try decorating your sentences with mow imagery.

Close encounters of the gnome kind.

What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, Gnomeore!

This is AMAZING

Watch out for anyone coming after you with a flamethrower

That is actually what I would do. You read my mind. lol

A gnome ghost? Whoever has been trolling you is doing it very well.

The perpetrator has not yet been identified; they are presumed small and still at large.

Either magic gnomes A ghost Or the op has a split persona that's messing with the house while the other side sleeps

I like the split persona

I like the gnome troll.

Attack of the gnomes!

Free trips to anywhere you'd like

Sounds like there's some paragnomal activity going on..

This guy sounds like a fucking legend, The Legend of Gnorro...

Never gnome alone!

Well, this is a great oppurtunity to make money by selling free gnomes on eBay

"Selling" FREE gnomes?

Selling the gnomes that were free to him