Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, I was babysitting a boy who was 11 years old. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I told him that I think he is a really great kid but I'm 17 so it would never work out. He said okay. When his parents came home he told them that I hit him and started crying. FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
Today, we had customer complaints of a child molester hanging around our restaurant. After confrontation by a manager, he wouldn't leave. I had to be walked to my car after my shift by more than one person because I look 12 and they were afraid for me. I'm almost 19. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
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Top comments
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Record him saying all of that, make 100% sure that it saved, and then call his parents and tell them to come home immediately to show them the video. That shit's not cool and he needs some serious discipline. (Make sure he doesn't know you recorded him and doesn't have access to your phone so he can't delete it).
MrZsDad 19
Should have told him to sit down and shut up before he ends up on a milk carton
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Comments (145)
alex_gen 39
11 seems old enough to not need a babysitter.
soulreaper12296 28
Depends on the kid. Some kids NEED to be supervised. And based off this FML this is one of those kids.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
This is why I'm hesitant to babysit.
LilHitla 15
you should have said "I already am." then make a weird smile
MrCantgetright 4
that's when you start recording everything on your phone. **** that little turd.
sousounator 19
You should've went to the bathroom , called his mom and tell her.
santosb1 11
I misread this FML lol
RabbitOfAurora 28
At that point, you call the parents back and tell them what happened along with a "thanks for the job, but no thanks" and you leave. Forever.
dayavera 9
you had to say "jokes on you, im already on that list, now you will do what I say or I tell ur parents about your failed attempt of blackmail"
soulreaper12296 28
I've had two kids tell their mom that I threatened to lock them outside for an hour, because I told them they couldn't play their playstation because their mom didn't want that being the only thing they did all day.
fabcade 14
I would have told the parents to come home. you don't deserve that and he needs to be punished