Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, I was babysitting a boy who was 11 years old. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I told him that I think he is a really great kid but I'm 17 so it would never work out. He said okay. When his parents came home he told them that I hit him and started crying. FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
Today, we had customer complaints of a child molester hanging around our restaurant. After confrontation by a manager, he wouldn't leave. I had to be walked to my car after my shift by more than one person because I look 12 and they were afraid for me. I'm almost 19. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
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Top comments
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Record him saying all of that, make 100% sure that it saved, and then call his parents and tell them to come home immediately to show them the video. That shit's not cool and he needs some serious discipline. (Make sure he doesn't know you recorded him and doesn't have access to your phone so he can't delete it).
MrZsDad 19
Should have told him to sit down and shut up before he ends up on a milk carton
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Comments (145)
Aspirax 13
Im going to down voted for this. I'm okay with it. This is absolutely sick humor. Record the turd threatening you. Then molest him all you want. They'll think he's lying. Haha. KIDDING. Do not molest children ever.
The_Burrito_Guy 6
FML should change the kids category to “Mostly Little Demons"
puzzy 13
yeah like someone else said, i would just have my phone on record the whole time im there in case he says something else.
Saraishi 25
What all these babysitting FMLs taught me was to record the lil psychos, if i ever babysit one.
lubydoo 9
I don't want ovaries anymore.
teff7 7
You should have molested him to teach him a lesson
kotake 7
Honestly I would call them right up, you probably have a cell number, tell them exactly what he said, and say you don't feel comfortable in their house anymore. And if they protest just say you take threats seriously and if he's willing to say that right off the bat, what else would he lie about? Forget the cash, just get the parents home, get your ass out, and have them deal with the little monster.
Charles900 16
I hate these kinds of people. Not only can the kid ruin an innocent person's life, but it also makes it much more difficult to catch genuine child molesters. So, yes, FYL
Rababco 29
It could also become a problem for the kid. What if he actually is molested by a sexual offender? He might not be believed because he lied about it before.
Georges_V_fml 19
As a professional child molester, I find this offending!
giantgoldenradio 11
follow up pleaseeee