By heartbrokenhaley - 23/01/2014 20:57 - United States - Brockton

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years told me that since I've proven my loyalty and faithfully stuck by his side, he has no reason to ever consider marrying me, because "It's not like you're going anywhere, honey." He seems not to understand why I am upset by this. FML
I agree, your life sucks 53 671
You deserved it 5 590

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Some people just take things for granted. Good luck, OP


Cause leaving your bf of six years that you love is such an easy thing to do

I actually agree with you, 18. OP, maybe just explain that since 'it really isn't a big deal' that he could agree to marriage because it will make you happy. If he can't understand that, then I think you two need to have a serious talk about the future. There is always room for improvement in a relationship, and if it means improving it by moving on, then so be it. But, I say only ditch the relationship if nothing else will give.

MikaykayUnicorn 36

Seriously tho, op's boyfriend has a point. If you're faithful and loyal, you don't need to get married! Heck, marriage is just a piece of paper in my opinion. But, also, getting married is a step up, and move relationships that last 4+ years probably won't get divorced. But if op really wants to get married, maybe you guys could talk it out?

It's stupid logic, marriage is kind of tradition... And in most countries you reap benefits for being married! But as stupid as he seems right now.. I'd take it as a compliment that he feels comfortable enough to not need binding of marriage.

21 why should her bf be the one who gives in? I'm sure they'll work it out, but giving in to marriage would be stupid IMO. I'm nit saint I'm against marriage, not at all, but giving in to marriage is far worse than the other way around IMO. bf could have chosen his words better though.

Well maybe your boyfriend has commitment issues, OP. He should want to marry you to officially and legally claim you are his (and vise versa). In other words, he should put a ring on it! :D Or, maybe he's just saying that to throw you off guard into not thinking he's going to marry you when he's really going to propose...... (or maybe not....) Good luck OP.

There is no "should" anything in relation to marriage. If you want to get married, great. If not, no one should make you feel like you have to. You don't need to sign a paper to prove your love. Not to mention that marriage began as a business transaction which really had nothing to do with love or commitment at all.

whothewhat 4

In the literal sense you are right but marriage is more about the bond that a man and woman share and your comment is also why Americas divorce rate is so high especially in the younger generation just because a bf and gf are happy doesn't mean that marriage will ruin there happiness maybe one day you will understand when you get in a similar situation but I doubt it you can teach and old dog set in its ways new tricks

Don't listen to anyone here. They obviously got their relationship advice from Hollywood. If you love him and are happy then nothing else matters.

There's just no understanding men's logic! Hopefully he doesn't mean it and he's throwing you off the scent!

Some people just take things for granted. Good luck, OP

If they've been together six years and this hasn't been revealed before then it's not really taking anything for granted. OP should have made their desire to be married much clearer, much sooner. Then maybe they'd have realized what an asshole their boyfriend is and it wouldn't be so hard to leave or come up with compromise.

Why is he an asshole for not wanting to marry? It's not really benefitial for a man in the US to marry today, and love isn't defined by wether you're married or not.

It's even less beneficial for a woman to marry--you're dodging a bullet, OP. But really, you could point out that while you're loyal and faithful now, that could change if you meet someone else.

If he loves you, he'll understand his mistake & change his mind. If he doesn't, he doesn't.

yoursucklives 36

maybe you can show him that marriage has other benefits than making it harder for you to run away?

One of those benefits being if either of you got seriously hurt, or worse, died, your partner would have say so in arrangements.

He has gotten comfortable and you have not required him to be anything other than a boyfriend. It should have been stated in the beginning that you are looking to be a wife within a certain time frame. Six years is a long time not to have considered marrying you. Sorry to hear that but you have some serious thinking to do.

yoursucklives 36

yeah i kinda agree with you, i've been together with my boyfriend for four years now, and even though we're only 20/21, we had a talk about that some time ago. i think after some time in a relationship, you have to figure out what you want from the future and what your partner wants. i'm 437845% sure that i want kids, and if my partner was sure that they don't want kids, i would have to leave them. but the boyfriend doesn't sound like he's completely against marriage, it's not like he said that he doesn't believe in it or simply doesn't want it, maybe op can still change his mind

Giving someone a time limit to marry you just puts unnecessary pressure on the poor sod. Also OP never said that he hasn't considered marriage just that he doesn't feel it's required because he's happy the way they are. It may be that if op talks to him and explains why he's upset her he'll change his mind.

Giving someone a time limit to marry you just puts unnecessary pressure on the poor sod. Also OP never said that he hasn't considered marriage just that he doesn't feel it's required because he's happy the way they are. It may be that if op talks to him and explains why he's upset her he'll change his mind.

#28 I'm pretty sure percentages can only go up to 100%? Or was I taught wrong at school

#74 yup percetages can actually go up to 437846%

#74 yes you were taught wrong in school. Having more than 100% just means that it is more than the original value. for example 500% of one is five.

StillUsesMyspace 22

Thanks for the advice 8, I will start off all my future dates by saying "I want to get married"

And why is marrying him important? It doesn't matter if you are married or not if you still have a good relationship.

There are legal matters when it comes to marriage, and some religions consider it a sin to have sex before marriage/plans to get married. So, yeah. It does matter.

Let's just assume, for the sake of argument, that neither partner is religious. What reason do they have to get married other than because it is expected? You mentioned "legal matters". What specific legal advantage is there?

For starters, if you have combined your finances, the divorce system provides some avenues to help separate your finances once you break up/divorce. Without that, you can be stuck on debt, where the only way to get off a debt is to take each debt individually to court to dissolve a general partnership. With divorce, you can take care of all of the debts at once, known as a divorce decree. The big issues for this is car loans and house loans, where they'd stay around for a long time otherwise.

arent there tax benefits for a married couple that you cant have if youre only dating? that would be legal, i assume

Not really sure why I am being thumbed down for asking a question. I did not know about the tax thing. I do not see why you would want to combine your finances in the first place though, but I can see how that would be helpful for people who end up going down that route.

ashsaunde 13

It also helps when it comes to medical matters. If you are unble to make your own choices, your husband/wife can (usually) legally choose what happens.

Same with death. A boyfriend/ girlfriend would not be legal next of kin. The boy/ girlfriend would have no say in the arrangements if the legal next of kin did not allow them to.

#73 - if you are married, why would you not combine your finances? once married, its no longer whats his is his & hers is hers. lots of things become joint when married, especially the paying of bills.

StillUsesMyspace 22

of course the guy with the name jizzworld is unaware of the complications of not being married but having to pay bills and taxes together.... As well as the problems involved with insurance, deaths, and mortgages. Maybe the fml about the dog barking in response to ************ would be more your area of expertise....

Where I live it's easier to not get married. And I'm pretty happy about that because in my opinion a ring means nothing..

I think she's saying it's important because it's something she wants. Maybe it's not so important to you, or her boyfriend, but it's clearly something she's very interested in and may need out of the relationship.

Nolimit2217 32

Shoe him our loyalty to your own happiness and move on!

Yes! Everyone, raise your shoes!!! We will show him!!

Indianboy9321 25

Your boyfriend doesn't seem to have the greatest logic, but since you guys have been together for 6 years, I'm going to go on a limb and assume you each bring something to the relationship that the other simply cannot live without. If that is the case, then he will come around, so I wouldn't worry. The best advice is to always talk to your significant other and try and sort out problems, rather than "dump their ass" as many on this site advocate.