Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with your girlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I checked my voicemail. I was really surprised to hear an adorable message from my boyfriend, who is vacationing in Florida. I was even more surprised to hear him having sex with some other girl for the last seven minutes of the message. FML
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My best friend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML
Today, while having sex with the guy I have seen for about 3 years, he answered the phone. I found out that he had a girlfriend while he was inside me. FML
Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of two years. I got a call from my best friend telling me he had slept with her before we went out drinking the night before. FML
Today, my best friend of 10 years told me she had slept with a man who had a girlfriend. I told her that it wasn't that bad. She then informed me that it was my boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML
Today, I was driving 3 of my guy friends to a party that was half an hour away. There was an awkward silence for most of the trip. I just figured out why now. I've had sex with all 3 of my guy friends. They talk about it when I'm not around. FML
Today, my long distance boyfriend sent me a Snap of him fucking another girl. When he realized he'd sent it to me, he called me, trying to explain, "it's not what it looks like. It was meant for the boys." Two days ago, I made plans to visit him. Guess who's out money and single. FML
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Top comments
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
That kind of stuff doesn't just "sort of" happen. Sorry op. Ditch them both.
Pwn17 25
It's not his fault. He accidentally tripped and fell into her lady parts.
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Comments (172)
sneeze_watch 19
You should "sort of" kick him in the dick. And dump her ass first thing.
paigexox0 37
*throws santa clause, fridge, stove, unicorn, entire house at someone* woops sorry...it sorta just happened.
Ari1337 15
not Santa D:
SasquatchDeluxe 10
Invite them to come join you in Florida.-- I understand they have a very lenient "Stand Your Ground" law there.
SlapAndTickle 20
Yes, yes we do.
chosha_fml 27
So how do you 'sort of' have sex with someone? Did he rub up against her at a bus stop?
worldclassrager 41
Sort of I don't think will cut this one...but at least he came clean about it...
MikaykayUnicorn 36
And when people get in trouble for eating all the pie, their excuse can be 'the fork slipped into the pie & I cleaned it with my mouth. it was an accident. ' stuff like this doesn't 'just sorta happen. '
Beepbeep7 14
Shakira humored me.
TheCowCollector 2
Maybe you were destined to find the right girl there? Start looking.
hcollins1 18
Maybe, just maybe it's because you're closer to a friend of 6 years than a friend of 6 months. Being betrayed by someone you may consider family is something no one wants to go through.
BlueRainDude 11
Be like thanks for telling me but we are no longer friends and hang up. Then don't talk to him for a while. After he tries to contact you again a couple times without you answering finally pick up and when he asks why you guys haven't spoken be like "idk bro it just happened, you'd know about that." And hang up