Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at soccer practice. The ground's keeper just aerated the field, and my teammates and I decided to throw the cylindrical clumps of dirt at each other. I got hit in the face with one. It wasn't dirt. It was a clump of wet dog poop. FML
Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML
Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was out riding and a seagull pissed on me. It got in my mouth. FML
Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML
Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML
Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML
Today, I was refereeing at a kids' soccer tournament and a deer ran across one of the fields. Some of the parents then claimed that a deer on the field meant a free kick. FML
Today, I got hit in the face at a dodge-ball tournament. My entire mouth was bloody. The sad thing is, I wasn't even playing. FML
Today, it was my first time as a hockey referee, for a game played by 7-year-olds. At one point, a little boy tripped another boy. Doing my job, I gave him 2 minutes in the penalty box. After the game, I was attacked by a mob of parents. I was even given an optometrist's business card. FML
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Top comments
boomlol 0
he didnt make you.... and learn the words "**** you"
Rhodacious1 0
EW...
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Comments (183)
JoelsLastNight 18
Why didnt you just say wait a minute while i clean it or ask for a new one or even say it fell in poop dick head lol
i_love_him_ 17
OMG FIELD HOCKEY. YES. Sorry you had to put the mouth guard back in. I would have depending on if you had subs, run off the field and rinsed it with your water.
Tytonic 16
Goose poop isn't wet at least. You could wipe it off and it will be beravle
Trainn 19
What would you rather, a mouth full of goose shit or broken teeth?