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Trainn's favorite FMLs

By hells bells - 05/03/2019 14:00

Today I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. It did not go well. Turns out she is the girl my dad cheated with 5 years ago, the reason my parents got divorced. Oh, and as a bonus, it turns out her 4 year old son is also my dads 4 year old son, my secret half brother. FML

agreeclassic 4 054

vote type 1 216

By Derek - 05/08/2018 01:30

Today, I found out that my kids are both my half-brothers, and the fertility tests my wife had us do a few years ago showed that I'm sterile. She didn't tell me until I found the test results in her desk and asked her about it. FML

agreeclassic 5 063

vote type 1 288

By ReallyUniverse?? - 18/03/2018 19:00

Today, at work as a dog groomer, two dogs gave me bloody bites, completely unprompted. I went home in tears, so my family got Chinese takeout to cheer me up. My fortune cookie read, "It is not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog that counts." FML

agreeclassic 4 828

vote type 1 532

By aargh - 28/04/2017 10:50

Today, I went on a coffee date. My date blew his nose on a discarded napkin, smoked half of my cigarettes despite "giving up", chewed tobacco at the table and casually invited a friend to join us. His friend spat out his tobacco and poured cough syrup into his coffee. I'll pass on a second date. FML

agreeclassic 4 950

vote type 1 428

Vee94 app_comment_confession_title

Vee94 1

Tuesday 25 April 2017 1:42

OP here! (I didn't have an account when I submitted this..) Yeah this was a weird, uncomfortable experience for me. I've had dates which were boring or which I wasn't into (and vice versa) but there's nothing quite like watching someone fish out chewing tobacco from their gums and plonk it in a coffee cup while telling you that your eyes are pretty... This was a really nice, upmarket coffee shop and I cringed horribly when one of the servers came to take away the cup, wad of chewed up tobacco and snot-covered napkin and all. Shortly after the friend arrived and poured cough syrup into his espresso, I excused myself... and I declined the request for another meeting. But I still haven't gone back in that coffee shop. Nor have I been brave enough to go on any more dates.

By Angelofkarma - 25/05/2009 18:05 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

agreeclassic 315 494

vote type 1 174 112