Miscellaneous: Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital...

By Anonymous - 05/06/2015 18:05 - United States - Haslet

Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 916

You deserved it 2 616

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Same thing different taste

By zl5 - 04/07/2014 23:17 - New Zealand - Masterton

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 114

You deserved it 4 843

By chieftain - 09/05/2012 19:34 - Norway - T?nsberg

Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 249

You deserved it 5 693

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 21:15 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 518

You deserved it 4 237

Contempt

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 21:59 - United States - Richmond

Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 421

You deserved it 1 583

By mustanggt - 10/07/2012 15:39 - United States - La Porte

Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 849

You deserved it 31 204

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 15:34 - United States - Pomona

Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 195

You deserved it 2 571

Fake news

By Anonymous - 18/07/2014 20:04 - Cura?ao

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 332

You deserved it 3 456

Slip of the tongue

By Anonymous - 13/05/2019 10:00

Today, I had to help pick a jury for trial. I had to do a roll call to make sure that everyone was present. I stood up in front of a packed courtroom and said, “Okay, I’m going to do a roll call to make sure that everyone is here and pregnant.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 585

You deserved it 669

JCS Inspired

By Britters - 25/10/2022 18:00

Today, my true crime addiction is so bad, when I read an FML about someone's dissociative personality disorder, I immediately thought they were lying and just preparing a good 'not guilty' defense because they planned to murder someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 757

Contempt

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 06:00

Today, I cannot believe my husband. All he had to do was contest a bogus parking ticket but because he's incapable of keeping his fat mouth shut, now he’s going to jail for contempt of court. He will lose his job because of this, guaranteed, and we have two kids to support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 192

AyeJay101 25

Saturday 6 June 2015 8:59

Was that enough to find himself guilty?

mkmon7 21

Saturday 6 June 2015 9:00

There must be a way for you to get off the case if you feel threatened...

Comments

Supertramp94 13

Saturday 6 June 2015 20:40

He's full of shit

KaiwanAvari 15

Saturday 6 June 2015 21:14

Time for him to have a seat on the electric chair..

buckdharma 36

Saturday 6 June 2015 23:39

Yes, it's true he killed her and fed her nipples to the dog, but she shouldn't of touched his Apple Jacks.

DerpingtonHerp 14

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:39

Well that certainly helps his case, doesn't it?

mcdorr72 4

Sunday 7 June 2015 1:23

Time to start dustin' off the ol' Texan electric chair.

liza1922 7

Sunday 7 June 2015 1:36

discussing the trial you are a jury for is not allowed

Kramer1998 20

Sunday 7 June 2015 1:48

Ummm..... I believe your gonna go to jail since you were talking about this stuff, it's supposed to be 100% confidential and you have broken one of the rules that makes the trail fair

SimmoDestroyer 15

Sunday 7 June 2015 3:23

What part of 'do not mention anything about this trial when you are outside this courtroom, not even to your family members' didn't you understand? Oh let's tell the whole internet.

Anonymous_the1st 8

Sunday 7 June 2015 4:45

Then you're the idiot, if you believed him.

Zoeythedinosaur 17

Sunday 7 June 2015 5:04

I honestly can't say OP is the brightest bulb in the batch for posting a story about an ongoing case. As a juror, you're informed you can't share details, so this isn't a case of "I didn't know" Looks like someone is going to take a trip down oh shit lane.