Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML
Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML
Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML
Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML
Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML
Today, I had to help pick a jury for trial. I had to do a roll call to make sure that everyone was present. I stood up in front of a packed courtroom and said, “Okay, I’m going to do a roll call to make sure that everyone is here and pregnant.” FML
Today, my true crime addiction is so bad, when I read an FML about someone's dissociative personality disorder, I immediately thought they were lying and just preparing a good 'not guilty' defense because they planned to murder someone. FML
Today, I cannot believe my husband. All he had to do was contest a bogus parking ticket but because he's incapable of keeping his fat mouth shut, now he’s going to jail for contempt of court. He will lose his job because of this, guaranteed, and we have two kids to support. FML
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Top comments
AyeJay101 25
Was that enough to find himself guilty?
mkmon7 21
There must be a way for you to get off the case if you feel threatened...
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Comments (110)
Supertramp94 13
He's full of shit
KaiwanAvari 15
Time for him to have a seat on the electric chair..
buckdharma 38
Yes, it's true he killed her and fed her nipples to the dog, but she shouldn't of touched his Apple Jacks.
DerpingtonHerp 14
Well that certainly helps his case, doesn't it?
mcdorr72 4
Time to start dustin' off the ol' Texan electric chair.
liza1922 7
discussing the trial you are a jury for is not allowed
Kramer1998 20
Ummm..... I believe your gonna go to jail since you were talking about this stuff, it's supposed to be 100% confidential and you have broken one of the rules that makes the trail fair
SimmoDestroyer 15
What part of 'do not mention anything about this trial when you are outside this courtroom, not even to your family members' didn't you understand? Oh let's tell the whole internet.
Anonymous_the1st 8
Then you're the idiot, if you believed him.
Zoeythedinosaur 17
I honestly can't say OP is the brightest bulb in the batch for posting a story about an ongoing case. As a juror, you're informed you can't share details, so this isn't a case of "I didn't know" Looks like someone is going to take a trip down oh shit lane.