Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML
Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML
Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML
Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML
Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML
Today, I had to help pick a jury for trial. I had to do a roll call to make sure that everyone was present. I stood up in front of a packed courtroom and said, “Okay, I’m going to do a roll call to make sure that everyone is here and pregnant.” FML
Today, my true crime addiction is so bad, when I read an FML about someone's dissociative personality disorder, I immediately thought they were lying and just preparing a good 'not guilty' defense because they planned to murder someone. FML
Today, I cannot believe my husband. All he had to do was contest a bogus parking ticket but because he's incapable of keeping his fat mouth shut, now he’s going to jail for contempt of court. He will lose his job because of this, guaranteed, and we have two kids to support. FML
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Top comments
AyeJay101 25
Was that enough to find himself guilty?
mkmon7 21
There must be a way for you to get off the case if you feel threatened...
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Comments (110)
Catbus1 3
I don't know whether U.S. Law I'd different to ours, but you may want to check you're allowed to make comments on a case for which you're a juror while it's still in progress. People here have been prosecuted for making similar comments online.
MDoremis 38
You aren't allowed to talk about it until the trial is over in the US as well. A lot of people on FML do belated stories, so hopefully this is the case.
primadonna01 4
The comment said "today on the jury duty" so it didn't happen years ago.
TheLadyOpal 30
Every FML story HAS to start with "Today..." So yes, it actually could have been years ago.
botji1 1
" I believe him." Present tense. OP messed up.
littleking94 14
No mention of any names, what case, or even where it is.....
littleking94 14
it has to say today dummy
carlyhammond 7
Er, it says it was posted from Texas.. So... OP messed up big time.
tlnorman 18
This person is not allowed to discuss the case, they've been instructed not to. This could cause a mistrial this person is a ******* idiot.
MDoremis 38
Well that's terrifying.
SauceySarah 30
As a member of the jury, aren't you not allowed to discuss details of the case? Nonetheless, that is really scary and the judge and lawyers should take what he said as a real threat and do something to protect the members of the jury.
protoskore 27
If there's any way for the court to find out who the anonymous person is, it can be grounds for a mistrial in the US.
migmit 11
Which might be intentional.
Drnknmonkey08 12
#25 I believe they can look up an IP address and I'm not quite sure if a phone has the same style of an IP address, but yes it could be grounds for mistrial and the way technology is it could be traced back to the juror(s) in this case
Ms_ValS 27
OP I think you might not want to divulge details of an ongoing case.. especially something so serious as a murder trial. you basically admitted partiality... so you're willing to let an alleged killer walk free to kill again because you are scared? heck I gotta admit, I'd be terrified too but I don't think you should admit that the threat is what swayed your judgment
lexielou07 18
A lot of FML's are posted a long time after they actually happened. I hope that's what's going on here, or OP's in big trouble.
stupidpplsuck 33
it is possible that this case took place a while ago and isn't actually ongoing anymore. all FML's have to be in present tense, so unless we get a follow up we won't know if it is ongoing or not.
tranced_ 45
He still might be innocent ^_^
FlyingMoonLady 11
Well, he sure knows how to win a jury over. At least you all can agree that he's quilty!
thejzabs 25
I love quilty people :P they are much nicer than guilty ones! And they can always warm you up... lol
FlyingMoonLady 11
Hahaha, I didn't notice that. Thank you for pointing it out in a clever way!
migmit 11
Take it like this: is there anything that will make him NOT kill you if you find him not guilty? So, there is no difference really. Send him to jail.
Zigstyle308 18
He's not going to kill you if you find him guilty. Chances are in the prison shower, he will be good friends with Big Bubba!!!!
91hayek 31
He did the prosecution's job for them with that idiocy.
SadSouthernBell 18
I really hope you didn't let this ass clown free.
Krwman 8
It's a capital offense?? He's made it possible to take "executive" action with no remorse, regret or guilt.