Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML
Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML
Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML
Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML
Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML
Today, I had to help pick a jury for trial. I had to do a roll call to make sure that everyone was present. I stood up in front of a packed courtroom and said, “Okay, I’m going to do a roll call to make sure that everyone is here and pregnant.” FML
Today, my true crime addiction is so bad, when I read an FML about someone's dissociative personality disorder, I immediately thought they were lying and just preparing a good 'not guilty' defense because they planned to murder someone. FML
Today, I cannot believe my husband. All he had to do was contest a bogus parking ticket but because he's incapable of keeping his fat mouth shut, now he’s going to jail for contempt of court. He will lose his job because of this, guaranteed, and we have two kids to support. FML
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Top comments
AyeJay101 25
Was that enough to find himself guilty?
mkmon7 21
There must be a way for you to get off the case if you feel threatened...
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Comments (110)
cynthianicole95 9
You do realize that you aren't supposed to talk about the case at all outside of the courthouse?
SoulTermination 3
Shit like this posting is exactly why I think that juries should be professionals, not random yahoos of the street. God, I hope that murderer doesn't walk because of this, if he's guilty. You idiot.
worldclassrager 41
Well he'll be behind bars and then maybe a restraining order wouldn't be a bad idea either
jack67_fml 14
lol, but u should respect people, and not call them s**t bages, he's accused of murder not found guilty yet, also don't let what he said affect your decision on wether he is guilty or not, if you let emotion or hatred affect how you vote, then that's an unfair trial
curiouslilbird 19
I agree that a jury member should try to be as impartial as possible while determining guilt or innocence. However, shouting a death threat at the jury while being tried rather reduces the probability that the defendant is innocent, and it certainly makes the OP's comments about the defendant understandable. I'd be surprised if they let the trial continue after that!
Our_name_ 14
Mufucking Uhhhhhhh... This is scary..
ty4nier 16
Are you allowed to post details about that stuff online while the case is going on? I thought there were rules about doing that?
NobodyGay 16
Two words: electric chair
NobodyGay 16
Two words: electric chair
inolongercare 19
Your identity should be confidential. Although people are allowed to watch the trial and may see you.
JebMcdeber 11
Yeah, I really hope this case is not ongoing. It would totally be a mistrial, and you may be held in contempt of court.