Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML
Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML
Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML
Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML
Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML
Today, I had to help pick a jury for trial. I had to do a roll call to make sure that everyone was present. I stood up in front of a packed courtroom and said, “Okay, I’m going to do a roll call to make sure that everyone is here and pregnant.” FML
Today, my true crime addiction is so bad, when I read an FML about someone's dissociative personality disorder, I immediately thought they were lying and just preparing a good 'not guilty' defense because they planned to murder someone. FML
Today, I cannot believe my husband. All he had to do was contest a bogus parking ticket but because he's incapable of keeping his fat mouth shut, now he’s going to jail for contempt of court. He will lose his job because of this, guaranteed, and we have two kids to support. FML
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Top comments
AyeJay101 25
Was that enough to find himself guilty?
mkmon7 21
There must be a way for you to get off the case if you feel threatened...
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Comments (110)
kayj905 15
How will he kill you if he's in jail
thedarkshadoo 9
Is this illegal or is it fine as long as you keep it vague?
missmootoyou 4
It is literally illegal to discuss the case.
ApplePie1994 27
Anyone else curious to what case this is?
Manic1 13
I wouldn't worry too much, Texas is a death penalty state and they love to use it.
ilanie04 16
i didn't mean to press you deserved it! you don't!
Amorettex 19
Your not even allow to even talk about your damn case... I would know I get called for jury duty almost every damn year! They say we are not allow to talk about or post it online...
GetAwayS 7
You're not allowed to post about a trial in no context. This post is illegal
tlnorman 18
Seriously you should not be talking about this on social media. First off the counsel for and against the accused can track what a juror is doing, and you've given such a descriptive outline of what occurred in court it wouldn't take much to trace it to you. You know you're forbidden from discussing the trial at all, your breaking the rules and the penalty for that is not light.
TheMightyMrJ 6
Well, you better find him guilty. Cuz that person will be a bigger threat to you out and walking around free as a bird.