Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, I told my mom that I want to try out for a singing competition on TV, so I might be able to kick off my musical career. She convinced me to sing a song for her, so I did. Mid-way through, she lost it, burst into laughter, and told me to stay in school. FML
Today, both of my daughters were having an argument because my youngest has decided that she doesn't want kids. I defended her decision and my oldest daughter told me to STFU and called me a hypocrite. I slapped her across the face for her disrespect and now she's threatening to press charges. FML
Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML
Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML
Today, my adult daughter reached out to me, asking to mend our relationship. I told her there would be nothing until she paid me back for what I spent raising her ungrateful self. In response, she laughed at me, said, "Never mind" and flipped me off as she walked out. FML
Today, my sister commented that she wants to audition for The Voice and that she’s sure she’ll make it to the finals. I said, “You have to have raw talent to do so.” I realized the severity of my comment too late as she teared up and stormed out of the room. My mom took my Macbook and car keys away. FML
Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML
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Top comments
bestnameright 14
You raised her... Just saying
oj101 33
Faith in humanity -200 points.
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Comments (87)
kerrywoodwins20 2
She has half of your genetics and then the other half are based on the partner you chose. So if she is stupid, it is entirely your fault.
rhiannonleesarah 14
I don't see how genetics effects intelligence. My parents are completely thick but my brother and I are not
Meme1988 18
Where did you go wrong while raising her up?
unicornpower56 7
Not all teens are like this, I'm 15 and have never said I hate my parents, I dont say "like, totally" and I pay for my own shit. I don't interrupt my mother or my father or anyone cause I know its disrespectful. Teach your kid some manners bro, and you should've slapped her.
CharresBarkrey 16
You've got a good head on your shoulders.
cadyt1234 11
Agreed. Thanks for being a sane human being who isn't a spoiled brat.
KawaiiMira 1
You lasted five minutes of that noise? If it was me, as soon as she said "You will pay my way", I would have slapped her. She needs a wake up call. We don't need another spoiled ass brat on TV.
JaysFanStu 3
Imagine if society didn't frown on you smacking her when she needed it, you wouldn't like totally, have a dolt for a daughter now, you know, like seriously. I bet when she talks everything sounds like a question too?
merryhappy1887 20
You raised it... YDI :p
Schiffy 18
To anyone saying he deserved it because "he raised her," society has a huge influence on kids, their parents aren't the only ones that teach her things in life. Just being in a public school setting could have made her act like that, or she was trying to act "cool" in front of dunner guests. This isn't the father's fault, we as a society have turned our back on children. While I may only be a freshman in college, I can attest to this simply by looking at my high school graduating class.
Ferreesley 3
But as a parent, you could raise your child to not be strongly influenced by society. Saying society was the main evil here is a piss poor excuse.
Twisted_Angel 17
Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver. Sounds like you need to invest in some.
jaruk9 4
I'm confused, pay her way- you mean like pay for the costs?
LordRenkse 0
You sound like a lovely parent.