Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, I told my mom that I want to try out for a singing competition on TV, so I might be able to kick off my musical career. She convinced me to sing a song for her, so I did. Mid-way through, she lost it, burst into laughter, and told me to stay in school. FML
Today, both of my daughters were having an argument because my youngest has decided that she doesn't want kids. I defended her decision and my oldest daughter told me to STFU and called me a hypocrite. I slapped her across the face for her disrespect and now she's threatening to press charges. FML
Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML
Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML
Today, my adult daughter reached out to me, asking to mend our relationship. I told her there would be nothing until she paid me back for what I spent raising her ungrateful self. In response, she laughed at me, said, "Never mind" and flipped me off as she walked out. FML
Today, my sister commented that she wants to audition for The Voice and that she’s sure she’ll make it to the finals. I said, “You have to have raw talent to do so.” I realized the severity of my comment too late as she teared up and stormed out of the room. My mom took my Macbook and car keys away. FML
Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML
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Top comments
bestnameright 14
You raised her... Just saying
oj101 33
Faith in humanity -200 points.
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Comments (87)
The_F3rris 11
Why didnt you? Dont restrain yourself!
doglover100 29
Hopefully she'll grow out of it.
feefifofumxx 13
Am I the only one who thinks this guy sounds like a prick?
CarouselHeart 11
No, I think wanting to slap her is a complete overreaction. Plus, I'm sure whatever he was talking about at dinner wasn't all that fascinating. -_-
stoptrying 9
"Hurrdurr that's boring. I'm definitely justified in interrupting my dad because I find his conversation boring." We only got a tidbit of what she said. If she was able to go on for 5 minutes with a subject that started like that, I can't imagine any parent wouldn't want to slap some sense in to her.
Quikraptor 8
Yeah, probably. A kid who's likely older than 15 is expecting their parents to just shell out money they may not have just so she can think about herself and be on TV. A typical teenager mentality: It's all about me. I know everything. Etc.
Pensu 12
No he definitely does. Being annoyed by your daughter is one thing. Having to restrain yourself from slapping her and then going online to bitch about it? This guy has some serious issues.
pulsar_ 13
Tween/young teenagehood is one of the most obnoxious phases of growing up. It gets better.
Lankaa 4
Seriously this is allowed on FML? It could be worse. Get a life you loser.
MermaidMagic99 4
Your aggression towards her is like totally not the best way to snap her out of that phase. Just saying, she's your kid, you need to love her and teach her, not mock her behind her back.
BriannaRWatson 13
Spank that kid!
cylus13 9
Your a parent, suck it up. Learn how to handle her. If a spanking is needed do it, just not wile your angry.
patriot09 6
Parent of the year, ladies and gentlemen. For being able to restrain himself, where most of us wouldn't be able to :D
TheIchiban 11
Why didn't you slap her damn it!