Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, I told my mom that I want to try out for a singing competition on TV, so I might be able to kick off my musical career. She convinced me to sing a song for her, so I did. Mid-way through, she lost it, burst into laughter, and told me to stay in school. FML
Today, both of my daughters were having an argument because my youngest has decided that she doesn't want kids. I defended her decision and my oldest daughter told me to STFU and called me a hypocrite. I slapped her across the face for her disrespect and now she's threatening to press charges. FML
Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML
Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML
Today, my adult daughter reached out to me, asking to mend our relationship. I told her there would be nothing until she paid me back for what I spent raising her ungrateful self. In response, she laughed at me, said, "Never mind" and flipped me off as she walked out. FML
Today, my sister commented that she wants to audition for The Voice and that she’s sure she’ll make it to the finals. I said, “You have to have raw talent to do so.” I realized the severity of my comment too late as she teared up and stormed out of the room. My mom took my Macbook and car keys away. FML
Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML
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Top comments
bestnameright 14
You raised her... Just saying
oj101 33
Faith in humanity -200 points.
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Comments (87)
liv_graham 7
It's obviously Teen Jeopardy.
hatesfate 6
Because that's obviously a reality tv show...
BunchieRules 31
35 - Because 24's comment obviously wasn't a joke.
maddygirl820 10
Restrain yourself? I would've slapped her silly.
crashley21 10
Seriously? I've submitted better fml's that haven't been approved. This one is pretty lame. There are superficial people like the daughter everywhere.
hatesfate 6
Kinda like yourself who thinks that FML should take your fmls because of your biased views about it being 'better'
Posthuman 26
Slap some sense into that bitch
RedPillSucks 33
You restrained yourself for a whole 5 minutes? Wow!
corruptedlol 2
Simians: 1 Humans: 0
BananerzFresh 12
Next Snooki right there. -.-
yenidewi 11
yeah
kryxen 14
I like how most of the comments seem to be from teens. Makes me wonder what their parents would do. Also I think a better punishment would be to not allow her to watch those shows.
qwertyiou9 7
This is just completely disappointing, faith in humanity = lost.