Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML
Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
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Top comments
KeithHarris 0
Serves you right for wearing fake animals. Next time wear the real thing so you'll at least deserve getting pelted with fake animal blood. :-D PETA members are dicks.
michellaneous 0
whats with the red liquids lately? well, PETA is a bit extreme, but they shouldn't be going around bombarding people with red liquids!
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Comments (510)
JagSeal 0
#6: "Your annoyance at having red liquid thrown at you is infuriating!!" Yes, if someone assaulted me, I'd be completely out of line in being irritated. Get a clue.
MonkeySpeaks 4
Did you know PETA puts Millions of fully adoptable Animals to sleep every year. http://www.petakillsanimals.com/
HurriKaty 4
******* hell, PETA are numnuts.
arichi 0
@154 (Ozy) yep! Exactly. Thank you.
lizwriteslove 0
PETA consists of a bunch of brainwashed losers that have nothing better to do with their time. The sad thing is, it carries on from generation to generation. They shouldn't be allowed to breed. You should've knocked them out.
Diabeetus 0
I hate PETA and I've always wanted to beat the shit out of one or two of their brainwashed terrorist minions. Do you think if I wore fur and baited them into throwing something on me I could then legally beat them up?
dwills36 0
Everyone that is knocking the OP around for wearing fake fur is a bit ridiculous. I've gone to the store and seen MEATLESS JERKY. Why would vegetarians eat that? Because they like jerky, but can't eat meat. Why would an animal rights person wear fake fur? Because it's NOT real fur. Suing them might be a little much though. Just go throw red liquid all over them next time, take the paint from them and go to war. See how much they like their clothes ruined.
purple_people 0
Do you know how many children don't get stuffed animals because of your jacket? Terrible..!!!!! :P
Hullaballoo 0
You should know, as a vegan, that a lot of "faux" fur actually contains REAL fur. That fur is usually dog, cat, or raccoon dog (who are often skinned alive) fur. Seeming as you don't seem to know that, you suck at being a vegan. And everyone else who says it's weird for you to wear fake fur in the first place is right on, too.
IHeartArt 0
i hate Peta and im a vegetarian. all they do it make people think vegetarians are crazy activist which i am not. i understand they love animals or whatever but the way they show it, like ruining random peoples clothing, is a little much for me.