Today, at work, there was a police officer waiting for me. Bewildered, I asked what the problem was. Someone had shot fireworks at cars in the parking lot and I was a suspect. Why? Ponytails on men apparently look suspicious. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML
Today, the police came to my house and arrested me. Why? The neighborhood kids thought it would be fun to hide behind my house and shoot at people with paintball guns. People saw it coming from my house and called the police. I was fired from work, due to missing it without notice. No excuses. FML
Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML
Today, I was on my way to work and wearing a tank top when I suddenly walked through 10 feet of sprinklers and got completely soaked. A cop flagged me down in front of a bunch of people, because apparently I matched the description of a "suspect". He stared at my boobs the entire time. FML
Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML
Today, the cops showed up at my work because people were fighting in the parking lot. This is a nightly occurrence. FML
Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML
Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML
Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML
Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Damn right they do.
Natalie403 6
Stereotypes xD
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Comments (138)
ADub55 0
Do you still live at home with mommy too? I can imagine OP as Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons
Eislek 3
Ponytails on men are just gross.
aruges93 12
guys with long hair are just gross I think only girls should have long hair
CSRozell 4
I think women shouldn't sport pants
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I have to disagree. Guys with long hair, that is well maintained, are hot.
D5quared 0
YDI for having a ponytail if you're a male. Eew.
MyF_ckingLuck 0
ponytails on men looks a lot worse than suspicious.
Emmy_The_Great 2
"What's the problem officer?" "You have a ponytail."
RayneStorm93 0
I love ponytails on men:) Fyl :/
iceicebaby24 0
finally! they're NOT GROSS
a_pawson9291 0
And how old are you? Sorry, at 16, it was time to let go of the ponytail and get a real, grown-up haircut. Especially if you're working. I'm planning on becoming part of my local police force. And I'm sorry, but a 20- or 30-some year old guy with a ponytail just looks like a person who doesn't care about his professional appearance and could be trouble. Just by experience. Get a $10 haircut at the local barber shop. I bet you'll get at least a $0.10 raise about 6 months after. Your boss will take you more seriously and cops won't hassle you as much. :)
kittydriftwood 0
#80 Does that mean that 20-30 something year old women shouldn't have boy haircuts? Oh, that's right, women already make less then men, simply because of their ******. Maybe I should cut my ****** off? It's just hair. You must be one of those people that avoid all black men because they are all rapists. "I wish people associated long hair with something other than drug use, like an extreme longing for cake. Strangers would see a long haired guy and say, "That guy eats cake!" "He is on bundt cake!" Mothers saying to their daughters, "Don't bring the cake eater over here anymore. He smells like flour. Did you see how excited he got when he found out your birthday was fast approaching?"" -Mitch Hedberg :)
alexd375 2
they dont make you look suspicious, they make you look gay
choirnerd9 0
Everyone who judges men with ponytails, shut up. I know a guy who wears a ponytail just so he can donate it to cancer patients. And who decided that men had to keep their hair short?