By DarkDolly - 04/02/2012 16:39 - France

Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 021
You deserved it 3 170

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Don't be afraid of the naked men who wander the night. Just follow them to their white van, it's legit.


MichellinMan 20

oh yes, he just wants you to go into his cellar, where he's got all these popsicles, and free buttermilk... mmmm....

I would be terrified but why....why was he naked- please tell me you asked him why - I need to know!!! TELL ME!!!

hellbilly205 17

I hope you can run OP, better yet i hope you did run away fast...

nuhuh 1

Has nobody watched or read the time traveler's wife? It's not his fault he goes into the past or future without his clothes!

WaterPoloLove3 0

59- I immediately thought of The Time Traveler's Wife when I read this FML.. I guess that means that both of us would get raped and killed in a situation like this... >.

He sounded like a sincere guy, except for the part where he was naked. I pictured this in a funny way. Op turns around "Ah!" Guy: "yea uh... There was a problem, don't mind me."

i had identical information, i was getting back from some party and at the first bus stop i encountered a half naked masturbator (it was-10) and then when i was near my flat, i had pleasure to met another one xD i'm a girl btw and it was 3 in night :F

he was just giving you a heads up, anyone would have gotten scared looking at suck tiny parts.

By Amy chance, did you park at a naturist site?

If he didn't do anything to you and just walked away then **** His Life , because God knows how far his house was O.o

I would be so scared too ehhh what a creeper

Ahhhhahahah 58 perfectly answers that question!! I love it

oldirtybasterdSE 0

Don't be scared. I'm from da future! Now gimme your clothes

At least he wasn't holding a knife. Imagine a naked guy in the dark holding a knife, saying "..don't be scared." scarred for life.

CalCommando 6

*Feels something hard pressed against back.* That's not my knife... 0.o

If his tail's wagging that means he's happy to see you...I mean wait what?

Listen op, there was a reason I told you not to be scared. I got super high, can't remember 3 hours of my life, and woke up in said parking lot. *And I mean obliterated high.

4everblackjack 10

Oh gawd! This comment made me laugh so hard I fell off my bed & woke up everyone in the house D:

quite_bored 9

What kind of rapist starts out naked?

MichellinMan 20
peachesncreem 21

This would have been the best time to sing "Hey you! Don't touch me there.. That is my no no square.. R-A-P-E RAPE!"

emogiggles 0

Stop don't touch me there that is my danger square r-a-p-e get your penis out of me haha

emogiggles 0

Eh I just like the way it sounds

Don't be afraid of the naked men who wander the night. Just follow them to their white van, it's legit.

....stranger danger!! No means no Mister!

MichellinMan 20

I was expecting the pedo bear guy to be one of the first comments.

peachesncreem 21

This would have been the perfect time to sing "Hey you, don't touch me there! That is my no no square!"

SeedlessMe 13

Marge knows best... It's Sinister Minister! ;-)

SwaggerMelon 6

At least he gave you some kind of warning? Yeah?

MichellinMan 20

um... warning that your about to get buttfucked.

Justwannacoment 7

or that the naked dude was going to cut a whole in her then rape the wound

Namerkp2 8

It's not rape if you yell surprise.

salad_fingers 0

It's also not rape if you like it. :3

ShroomsOnAcid 16

If only he were taking his crazy pills OP wouldn't have found herself in this situation.

You could have pointed and laughed. Make fun of his size and walk away. He wouldnt do that anymore.

maxwells_hammer 5

Or he would rape and kill you...

Lilpciak2012 2
loller27 6

that's when you deck him in the face

Or the nuts. Make him not want to expose them to random people at night in fear of a ******** kicked back up into the belly again.

MichellinMan 20

I would castrate him with a dull butter knife.

33 - me too. I also carry a dull butter knife in my pocket everyday.

MichellinMan 20

Women carry mace, i carry a dull rusty butterknife.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

I prefer tortilla chips. Those ******* are sharp!

Naw. I'd do it the cool way. I carry legos in my pocket to throw on the ground. He was naked so I doubt he was wearing shoes.