By DarkDolly - 04/02/2012 16:39 - France

Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 026
You deserved it 3 173
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Top comments

KeyboardWarrior 10

Don't be afraid of the naked men who wander the night. Just follow them to their white van, it's legit.

343 5

Comments

MichellinMan 20

oh yes, he just wants you to go into his cellar, where he's got all these popsicles, and free buttermilk... mmmm....

18 63
doctorwhogirl 0

I would be terrified but why....why was he naked- please tell me you asked him why - I need to know!!! TELL ME!!!

64 5
hellbilly205 17

I hope you can run OP, better yet i hope you did run away fast...

29 1
nuhuh 1

Has nobody watched or read the time traveler's wife? It's not his fault he goes into the past or future without his clothes!

123 1
WaterPoloLove3 0

59- I immediately thought of The Time Traveler's Wife when I read this FML.. I guess that means that both of us would get raped and killed in a situation like this... >.

46 4
XxDevilxXGt 26

He sounded like a sincere guy, except for the part where he was naked. I pictured this in a funny way. Op turns around "Ah!" Guy: "yea uh... There was a problem, don't mind me."

41 1
Isandri 29

i had identical information, i was getting back from some party and at the first bus stop i encountered a half naked masturbator (it was-10) and then when i was near my flat, i had pleasure to met another one xD i'm a girl btw and it was 3 in night :F

7 33
imepelepticsir 5

he was just giving you a heads up, anyone would have gotten scared looking at suck tiny parts.

2 20
AFCA020 4

By Amy chance, did you park at a naturist site?

5 12
LolFMLnot 10

If he didn't do anything to you and just walked away then **** His Life , because God knows how far his house was O.o

17 2
mrsjbiebs906 0

I would be so scared too ehhh what a creeper

2 4
max_bleu 2

Ahhhhahahah 58 perfectly answers that question!! I love it

0 1
oldirtybasterdSE 0

Don't be scared. I'm from da future! Now gimme your clothes

1 3
juliahockey 0

At least he wasn't holding a knife. Imagine a naked guy in the dark holding a knife, saying "..don't be scared." scarred for life.

316 7
CalCommando 6

*Feels something hard pressed against back.* That's not my knife... 0.o

117 2
McMan 23

If his tail's wagging that means he's happy to see you...I mean wait what?

44 3
aceman1992 9

Listen op, there was a reason I told you not to be scared. I got super high, can't remember 3 hours of my life, and woke up in said parking lot. *And I mean obliterated high.

12 6
4everblackjack 10

Oh gawd! This comment made me laugh so hard I fell off my bed & woke up everyone in the house D:

2 9
quite_bored 9

What kind of rapist starts out naked?

0 4
MichellinMan 20

28- are you semi retarded?

1 1
peachesncreem 21

This would have been the best time to sing "Hey you! Don't touch me there.. That is my no no square.. R-A-P-E RAPE!"

7 0
emogiggles 0

Stop don't touch me there that is my danger square r-a-p-e get your penis out of me haha

1 0
emogiggles 0

Eh I just like the way it sounds

0 0
KeyboardWarrior 10

Don't be afraid of the naked men who wander the night. Just follow them to their white van, it's legit.

343 5
123josie123 11

....stranger danger!! No means no Mister!

37 5
MichellinMan 20

I was expecting the pedo bear guy to be one of the first comments.

28 3
peachesncreem 21

This would have been the perfect time to sing "Hey you, don't touch me there! That is my no no square!"

37 2
SeedlessMe 13

Marge knows best... It's Sinister Minister! ;-)

1 10
SwaggerMelon 6

Yeah, vans are legit.

15 1
jtthegr8 26

At least he gave you some kind of warning? Yeah?

143 2
MichellinMan 20

um... warning that your about to get buttfucked.

57 1
Justwannacoment 7

or that the naked dude was going to cut a whole in her then rape the wound

0 0
Namerkp2 8

It's not rape if you yell surprise.

40 1
salad_fingers 0

It's also not rape if you like it. :3

1 0
ShroomsOnAcid 16

If only he were taking his crazy pills OP wouldn't have found herself in this situation.

6 14
silentbutfunny 0

You could have pointed and laughed. Make fun of his size and walk away. He wouldnt do that anymore.

124 13
maxwells_hammer 5

Or he would rape and kill you...

87 3
Lilpciak2012 2

oh my goodness. that is scary.

20 3
loller27 6

that's when you deck him in the face

38 1
silentbutfunny 0

Or the nuts. Make him not want to expose them to random people at night in fear of a ******** kicked back up into the belly again.

31 0
MichellinMan 20

I would castrate him with a dull butter knife.

22 2
sparkrok 8

33 - me too. I also carry a dull butter knife in my pocket everyday.

30 0
MichellinMan 20

56- yep, it comes in handy.

9 1
silentbutfunny 0

Women carry mace, i carry a dull rusty butterknife.

14 1
ShroomsOnAcid 16

I prefer tortilla chips. Those ******* are sharp!

23 2
kelissa_fml 16

Naw. I'd do it the cool way. I carry legos in my pocket to throw on the ground. He was naked so I doubt he was wearing shoes.

10 0