By guessthatsatrickthen - United Kingdom - Leeds Today, I opened the door to what I thought would be a group of trick or treaters. It was actually a naked man. He wanted to come in. FML I agree, your life sucks 27057 You deserved it 1949 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mary - United Kingdom Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML I agree, your life sucks 27938 You deserved it 6834 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ad-s - France Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML I agree, your life sucks 11396 You deserved it 22718 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous The price of love Today, same-sex marriage is finally legal in my country. However, it's taken so long since I got engaged that our perfect wedding venue has gone out of business, and everywhere else is at least three times the price. FML I agree, your life sucks 1673 You deserved it 329 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because she found a lot of red lipstick on my neck. The red lipstick was from her lipstick because she came over in the middle of the night when she was really drunk, then left. She refuses to listen to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 39124 You deserved it 3183 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By brother love - United Kingdom Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML I agree, your life sucks 38626 You deserved it 3911 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, at 2:00 am, my neighbor discovered "What Does The Fox Say?" He loves it. FML I agree, your life sucks 31099 You deserved it 2445 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anon - United States - Southbury Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML I agree, your life sucks 11488 You deserved it 64103 170 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML I agree, your life sucks 26543 You deserved it 2766 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BreechInEducation Today, my boyfriend informed me that he was a breech baby, which according to him meant that he born out of his mum's butthole. FML I agree, your life sucks 10506 You deserved it 916 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fucking SUCKS let's do it LIIIIIIIVEEEEEEEEE! - United States Today, my girlfriend jumped into my arms for a kiss. She's done it before, but this time I wasn't expecting it. I fell backwards, straight through my glass coffee table. FML I agree, your life sucks 24609 You deserved it 2044 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TOOshort Today, several of my apartment complex neighbors walked right by me as I struggled to clean the inches thick, icy snow off of my SUV. I’m 4’11. Not one person offered to assist me, even after I slipped and fell several times. FML I agree, your life sucks 1491 You deserved it 2147 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, both my car and my father's car were broken into. They stole my radio, purse, wallet, camera, and multiple items of clothing. What did they take from my dad's car? Some screwdrivers to rip my radio out of my dash. FML I agree, your life sucks 23534 You deserved it 5275 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Tupelo Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 26939 You deserved it 1794 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By xXitslolaXX - United States Today, I volunteered for a school play. During rehearsal, I was playing the part of an average housewife. The teacher asked for a volunteer to be my husband. Thirty seconds go by and no one raises their hand. The teacher ended up playing the part because no else wanted to. FML I agree, your life sucks 21941 You deserved it 2572 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - New York Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML I agree, your life sucks 50740 You deserved it 5277 161 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ilovebigmacs - United States - San Francisco Today, I spotted an elderly man trying to use the ladder at work. Knowing customers aren't supposed to use these, I went over and helped. Not only did I fall from the ladder, but I landed on the old man's foot, breaking my elbow and fracturing his toe. FML I agree, your life sucks 22707 You deserved it 3160 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, it's only been a week since I've been in my new apartment with my boyfriend, and I already caught him cheating. FML I agree, your life sucks 2112 You deserved it 184 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I found out that the engineers I work with believe that a woman with an engineering degree working in an engineering company is apparently equivalent to a "secretary for engineers." I am that woman. FML I agree, your life sucks 32764 You deserved it 3601 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Isabell - Australia Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML I agree, your life sucks 23587 You deserved it 5825 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shrutisoma - Australia - Strathfield Today, I was at work when a customer came up to me and asked where and what I used to get my tan. I'm Indian. FML I agree, your life sucks 13214 You deserved it 1276 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "AdorableDoxie" Today, I fell asleep in the school bus on the way back home when my loud fart woke me and a few other kids up. I am a teacher. FML I agree, your life sucks 2315 That could've happened to me 342 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ouchies - United States Today, I took my first shower in weeks after having had spinal surgery. My sister flushed a toilet. I couldn't reach the nozzle or my cane to get off the shower bench, and all I could do was sit there as scalding hot water sprayed all over me. FML I agree, your life sucks 42276 You deserved it 2245 159 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By disfunctionalfamily - United States Today, I got married. My sister and father could not attend because they already had plans. My sister went to the mall with her friends, and my dad went to a pool party. FML I agree, your life sucks 55712 You deserved it 4585 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CollegeChef - Australia Today, months into supporting my mum with her part time cleaning job by cooking dinner for my large family after university, I found out that she doesn't actually have a job, she just leaves the house for a few hours because she doesn't want to cook dinner. FML I agree, your life sucks 36236 You deserved it 2770 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Angie - South Africa Today, my twelve year old neighbour decided to give a Hannah Montana concert in her backyard, starring herself. Unfortunately, she only knew three lines of the song "The Best of Both Worlds" and screamed them repeatedly at the top of her lungs. FML I agree, your life sucks 40297 You deserved it 4683 225 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SugarMyBalls - United States - Winder Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML I agree, your life sucks 47392 You deserved it 3136 137 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Gloria Today, I got home with my 3 best friends in tow, only to find my husband fast asleep on the sofa, porn playing on his laptop, his boxers around his ankles, and a sticky white mess all down his thigh. I am so beyond mortified I can’t adequately describe how embarrassed I am. FML I agree, your life sucks 6214 You deserved it 808 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TingBarter - United States Today, I heard a student in the class I assist having trouble with a download. I walked over and showed him how to save to his flash drive, and how to use 7z to unzip said file. I then found out I'd just assisted him in downloading a half gig of porn during class. FML I agree, your life sucks 44725 You deserved it 9517 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sushi hater - United States Today, I went out for some very expensive sushi. Two hours later, I found myself on the toilet, violently voiding my bowels. I essentially paid to have liquid orange shit. FML I agree, your life sucks 31416 You deserved it 7480 137 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Southwold Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML I agree, your life sucks 31289 You deserved it 2534 166 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stillwaiting - United Kingdom Today, I found out that my boss plays a trick on all the interns. He calls you to his office, then leaves you waiting outside until you get annoyed and leave. Apparently, the old record was 45mins. I waited 4 hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 50273 You deserved it 11111 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Reston Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML I agree, your life sucks 28837 You deserved it 4350 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anon - United States Today, I was driving behind a UPS truck. All of a sudden his back door opens up exposing some boxes ready to fall out. Like a good driver I speed up to drive beside him to tell him. He thought I was trying to cut him off so he accelerated. A box flies out and dents my windshield. FML I agree, your life sucks 49851 You deserved it 5577 178 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lonelygirl - United States Today, my boyfriend took me on a romantic weekend away at a hotel. What is he doing now? On his computer looking up stuff on Craigslist while I am watching t.v. alone. FML I agree, your life sucks 25576 You deserved it 3427 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I thought it would be a good idea to superglue a couple quarters to the sidewalk downtown and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, street patrol was watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing US currency. FML I agree, your life sucks 17513 You deserved it 101121 164 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By foreveralone - Australia - Perth Today, someone finally told me that they couldn't live without me and that they love me more than anything. It was a student in my year 1 class. FML I agree, your life sucks 26185 You deserved it 2204 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BadtoWorse - United States Today, after thinking I smelled the aroma of stale alcohol, I asked my husband, who is a recovering alcoholic, if he has been completely honest with me about all that he has been doing. Bracing myself to hear about his fall off the wagon, I instead heard a confession of adultery. FML I agree, your life sucks 36837 You deserved it 4435 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Goody2shoes - India Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML I agree, your life sucks 20738 You deserved it 47031 336 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Holymoly - Netherlands Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML I agree, your life sucks 10607 You deserved it 39535 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 36038 You deserved it 4900 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LadyKayDee | 23 #6450311 - Sunday 1 November 2015 15:31 Maybe he wanted to give you some of his candy... Send a private message 181 3 Reply
By jayennachristine | 23 #6450313 - Sunday 1 November 2015 15:32 trick or treat...or anal? Send a private message 148 11 Reply
By COURT_KING | 14 #6450297 - Sunday 1 November 2015 15:27 There are some things that cannot be unseen... Send a private message 64 6 Reply
By countryguy91290 | 16 #6450298 - Sunday 1 November 2015 15:27 Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment why was he naked and did you help him? Send a private message 7 31 Reply
By laurenswims13 | 24 #6450299 - Sunday 1 November 2015 15:27 Well did he say trick or treat? Send a private message 48 6 Reply
Reply beeferjay | 34 #6450349 - Sunday 1 November 2015 16:18 it was a trick and a treat Send a private message 59 2 Reply
Reply Lalala579121 | 27 #6450567 - Sunday 1 November 2015 20:59 OP didn't see it as much of a treat though. Send a private message 6 1 Reply
Reply mxgirl1998 | 26 #6452673 - Wednesday 4 November 2015 0:56 that wasn't the candy op was hoping to see xD Send a private message 2 1 Reply
By sa5v | 21 #6450301 - Sunday 1 November 2015 15:29 What did you do op? Send a private message 29 4 Reply
By HoboMeth | 32 #6450306 - Sunday 1 November 2015 15:30 I guess they wanted to treat you OP Send a private message 27 3 Reply
Reply xTommytheGUNx | 15 #6450506 - Sunday 1 November 2015 19:59 treat yo self Send a private message 7 2 Reply
By LadyKayDee | 23 #6450307 - Sunday 1 November 2015 15:30 That could have been his costume. Send a private message 24 2 Reply
By Welshite | 39 #6450308 - Sunday 1 November 2015 15:30 He was just wearing his birthday suit. It's a perfectly legitimate costume. Send a private message 18 11 Reply
By masoko_fml | 21 #6450309 - Sunday 1 November 2015 15:31 That sure is a scary costume..! Send a private message 11 7 Reply
By LadyKayDee | 23 #6450311 - Sunday 1 November 2015 15:31 Maybe he wanted to give you some of his candy... Send a private message 181 3 Reply
By WordBea | 23 #6450312 - Sunday 1 November 2015 15:32 Is that not how things work? Send a private message 14 5 Reply
Today, right now, my husband is on the phone with his friend. Last night I had a dream I was cheating on him with this friend. FML I agree, your life sucks 96 You deserved it 176 2 Comments
Today, I know my life is awesome when my partner and I have to plan watching movies and having sex around his drinking schedule. FML I agree, your life sucks 334 You deserved it 85 3 Comments