Did she attempt to run away carrying the whole piggy bank in her arms?

that makes a lot of cents

She's two months old, she doesn't need to be the victim of crime!

Cocaine is a hell of a drug

.... and on the next Judge Judy

How do you counter such impeccable logic?

Just like how she doesn't need a hard slap to the face, but she is entitled to one.

Tell her "But she will eventually..."

Tell her if she needs money that bad and can take her teeth out she can make tens of dollars down on the corner

That was her retirement fund. Need to start early, you know?