So who shot off first? you or the burglar?

How small was it for him to be laughing during a burgalery.

you both have guns now but whose gonna shoot first

wellidk but OP has to crank up n load his gun while the burglers gun is already ready... OP doesnt stand a chance

66 that's kinky.

did he tell you to put clothes on?

probably, that way he could be serious enough to keep robbing you..

how did you post this FML if a burgalar was in your house today??

Very good question...How DID you?

the burglar was gone already? he ran away to the house of a friend (naked hihi) and posted there`?

Maybehe askes the burglar to write the text for him?

Hey number #6, how did you post that comment if you were asleep last night?! The fuck?!?!

It's that hard to figure out that every single FML posted here starts with the word "Today"? FYL for being dumb.

you're stupid, this didn't happen today. It tale a dew weeks for Fmls to be posted

I agree with sirEBC. Just because this person was robbed today doesn't mean the burglar is STILL there.. OP obviously posted this after everything was done and over with

Guys. Fml requires that all posts start with "Today," and end with "FML". Dont question the authenticity unless you can show proof. And even then shut up. It doesn't matter.

okay, not to mention the FML could be fake.

burglar: Get the F*k up!!! I'ma rob you!!!
OP: huh? wha...? Damn it man!!!!
burglar: Whoa fool. You got no clothes on!!!
burglar: Bwha ahahahahah ahah
OP; Can you hold on a minute? I need to post something on fmylife...
burglar: Dude, you spelt burglar wrong. It's not bugler. And remember to start with "Today"

can no one spell burglar or burglary???

all fmls start with "Today," so it could have happened to days ago but today he posts and keeps Today for the sake of the artistic factor.

Lemme guess... Shrinkage? It's okay, you were scared.

it was cold!

I would've thought he'd start jerking off

I like your picture :)

Did he laugh because you are"mike oXSMALL"? Poor little mike...^^

It's not the size it's...a screw that: poor you for having a small one, but as long as it works...be lucky he didn't harm you (as you only whine about him laughing at you I assume he didn't)

Its not the size but...? The vibration function?

...the techique (as said by owners of small ones and their girlfriends)

Oh man, man sollte meinen das du den Witz kennst wenn du schon aus deutschland kommst...

kommen

it's not the size of the boat... it's the motion of the ocean.

yeah but I sure as hell know ya can't make it to England in a row boat lol

Never understood how people could sleep naked by themselves...

Feels more comfortable for them...:)

Try it. You will see.

EWWWW u fat ugly thing!!!!

same it seems a little… gross to me!

Dunno--Is it any more foolish than wearing a wool hat and hood indoors?

My cousin & her mom sleep in the same room, & my cousin sleeps nude during the summer. I sleep alone, & can't bring myself to do that... The least I wear is a bra & underwear... I usually keep on an undershirt too. I don't want to be robbed naked.

well I know how they could.
step 1. they take of their cloths.
step 2. they get into bed alone with no cloths on.
the end.

well if a guy came in and raped you it would make sense but if it was a guy... just put it this way how many gay robbers do you see going around?

you take your clothes off lay in bed and shut your eyes, pretty simple really

@99. People typically don't ask about sexual orientation while they're being robbed.
I suspect that there are about the same percentage of gay robbers as in the general population.
I'm not sure why you would think that gay people wouldn't rob anyone.
Maybe you're thinking of effeminate people?

You're right 59... what in the hell was I thinking putting on clothes before I was about to leave the house... so foolish of me

lawlz

I can see it perfectly:

Boots--check!
Gloves--check!
Wooly hat--check!
Hoodie--check!
Alright! I'm ready to go outside... Oh, shit! I forgot to pose for my FML Profile pic!!!

Is that how it went? Is that why you look so angry?

Hehehe... Relax man, just yanking your chain.

awkward...

That's right. Use your personal gun.