Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML
Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML
Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I saw one of my best friends having sex with a girl at a party. It was the first time I'd ever seen a girl naked. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
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Top comments
anniemeece 23
Maybe not so 100%?
MegasaurusRex89 28
I don't know if "100%" is an accurate estimate...
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Comments (242)
MrJenksMan 1
Not anymore you aren't...
TheAlmightyColon 8
Not anymore
cmb2002 6
Or maybe, this may come as a shock to you all that are saying things against his sexuality, he was drunk and gave someone a *******. This may seem impossible, because you always need a reason for everything, but maybe he just didn't know what he was doing. *gasping noises from everyone*
gobiteme2 34
Gave a guy a ******* for the first time. This sounds like you are going to do it again. Next time try it sober you may actual like it better.
cmat84 8
You're a 100% of something. It just can't be both heterosexual AND male. Gotta pick one my friend.
Flyndaran 10
You can't be 100% human and alive. You have to pick one. I think you need to go back to school to learn statistics.
slippy28 1
Maybe you should keep that one to yourself ?
disney_blonde 16
According to my Psychology professor, you don't do anything drunk that hasn't at least crossed your mind sober.
Flyndaran 10
So, that's a meaningless observation. I've thought of everything physically possible and many things not. That doesn't mean I would ever seriously consider trying them.
savaj 3
No you are not
blahblah5743794 19
Obviously not 100%
live2loveurself 11
So? What's wrong with exploring?