Today, at a concert, I noticed a cute keytarist in one of the bands. After they got off stage, I asked their bass player if she was single. He replied, "actually, she's married," holding up his left hand, he continued, "to me." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a concert and I thought the cute drummer was winking at me, so I winked back. Then I realized he was blinking sweat out his eyes. FML
Today, I went to see my new boyfriend play in a band. I found out that groupies don't like even bass players having girlfriends. I was attacked by one because he smiled at me from the stage. FML
Today, I left a gift on my colleague's desk, with a note saying I liked him. He brought it over and handed it back, and told me he's married. His Facebook says he is single. FML
Today, I found out that the very good-looking woman who sings for one of my favorite bands is actually a guy. FML
Today, a girl that I've been falling for told me that she's married. But not to worry, that "won't get in the way of 'us'." FML
Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML
Today, I found out my friends were dating, which, OK, might seem normal. Unfortunately, I had this really big crush on this girl. I really admired her because she was a pianist and I was a violinist, and we often jammed together. I was gonna tell her, but before I could she told me she has a boyfriend now. FML
Today, I went to my husband’s work party where employees could bring a plus one. There, I met the colleague he talks so much about. She looked noticeably disappointed and said to my husband, “Wife?! You told me you were single!” We’ve been married for 7 years. FML
Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML
Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML
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Top comments
pleasetryagain 0
What does it matter? Isn't it better that you asked first instead of making a fool of yourself trying to hit on her? We really really need a "who the hell cares" category.
jdawg2010 0
this is a guy saying this, not a girl. men can't get pregnant. sorry :(.
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Comments (168)
Frozenstein 0
if i were the bassist, i'd be flattered
everyonehatesyou 0
******* LOL #1
awalkb 0
how do people say YDI?
RenRen_fml 0
Hahah....That sounds embarrassing. But if I were the bassist, I would be glad for my cute wife :P
Jimboom 12
How freaking sad are you that the best you can do is try hit on some band member from a concert you just saw? Go out to a bar or something. At least that way if she is married and still flirting with you then you know you might actually get some.
AlexJakubsen1 0
what the **** is a keytarist? is this like some new age crimp shit.
jaybirdka 0
Big ******* deal. How exactly is this a FML? If this is the worst thing that's happened to you then you have it made.
Pyromie 2
#23 Even Worse: "Ohhh, YOU are the guy she was telling me I've got a bigger **** than last night... Tough luck bud!"
MakinBacon 0
In other words: "Today I found out that I'm not the only person in the world who likes girls. FML" I'm gonna give you a YDI because I really don't care.
SPQR_fml 0
How did this get on this site, while other real FMLs didn't?