Love: My Love Life in a Nutshell

My Love Life in a Nutshell

By shadybarbie - 29/07/2017 13:00

Today, I was at a concert and I thought the cute drummer was winking at me, so I winked back. Then I realized he was blinking sweat out his eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 524

You deserved it 902

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/12/2010 14:38 - United States

Today, I found out a guy I work with has an eye twitch. I thought he was just a winker. I have been winking back all week. He either thinks I'm an asshole or am trying to seduce him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 440

You deserved it 23 531

Great gig

By mildlyconcussed - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Italy - Somma Vesuviana

Today, I went to a gig. The drummer threw his drumsticks out at the end and I managed to catch one. With my face. Not only did I get a black eye, but the person next to me snatched the drumstick from my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 021

You deserved it 1 967

By Anonymous - 04/02/2011 06:12 - United States

Today, I sat across from a cute boy in my English class. I thought it was cute when he winked at me, so I laughed and winked back. I didn't understand why he shot me a dirty look, until I later found out he has eyelid spasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 948

You deserved it 6 823

By Brianna Michelle Ferrell - 18/09/2018 13:30

Today, I went on a date with a guy and he kept winking at me. I thought it was really sweet until later that night he told me he had Tourette's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 557

You deserved it 358

Stalker vibes

By liz - 21/05/2009 23:46 - United States

Today, I was walking around Walmart when this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk, so I followed him around the store, trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. He told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 119

You deserved it 52 480

Rock n roll

By notanybetter - 08/06/2019 02:00

Today, the drummer from my favorite band threw a drumstick into the crowd during a concert. It hit me on the head and bounced into my friend's hands. She left with a drumstick from a band she didn't want to see in the first place. I left with a bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 174

Creep alert

By Pop_Pies - 03/09/2009 13:27 - Australia

Today, I had been working at the checkout for over five hours. Slightly tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink. He smiled and winked back. When I finished work two hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 103

You deserved it 4 166

Someone thinks highly of themself

By ballerphilip23 - 15/05/2009 17:11 - Austria

Today, I was standing on the packed bus home when I had a speck of dust in my lenses. As I couldn't rub it out, I tried blinking it out for the next five minutes. Then the hot girl opposite me screamed, "Stop winking at me, don't even think about it you ugly fuck!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 981

You deserved it 2 981

By amberrenee91 - 19/03/2013 03:29 - United States - Ellwood City

Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 574

You deserved it 17 837

By fastfingers409 - 22/04/2009 06:44 - United States

Today, at a concert, I noticed a cute keytarist in one of the bands. After they got off stage, I asked their bass player if she was single. He replied, "actually, she's married," holding up his left hand, he continued, "to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 538

You deserved it 46 399

Kurliez408 32

Saturday 29 July 2017 13:08

Why is that a fml? The drummer wouldn't have noticed you and the rest of the crowd would've been focused on the band.

Stiggy626 25

Saturday 29 July 2017 13:41

wtf is this stupid shit?

Comments

Kurliez408 32

Saturday 29 July 2017 13:08

Why is that a fml? The drummer wouldn't have noticed you and the rest of the crowd would've been focused on the band.

Stiggy626 25

Saturday 29 July 2017 13:41

wtf is this stupid shit?

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 29 July 2017 14:10

He was probably sweating from looking at you. Rawr!!

Glowworm56 26

Saturday 29 July 2017 14:15

Eye guess he wasn't as into you as you thought.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 29 July 2017 17:52

Eye see what you did there? ;) Hey, that was a blink, not a wink!

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 29 July 2017 14:19

Plot twist: the band was Blink 182!!!

KingKralj 31

Saturday 29 July 2017 19:35

...Why is this an fml?

Cali 54

Monday 31 July 2017 12:08

...Probably because OP excitedly thought she was getting hit on and then realized she was totally wrong?

Lobby_Bee 17

Sunday 30 July 2017 9:38

You probably isn't the only one to have this idea. I'm sure there are a bunch of other fans that fantasies the drummer winking at them.

RinoaHeartilly 36

Wednesday 2 August 2017 8:28

Ok...? Am I missing something here? Did someone notice and laugh or is this s pointless story?

randybryant799 20

Monday 12 July 2021 21:55

I'm totally missing the problem. Obviously he couldn't see you wink.

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The Top

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 624

You deserved it 97 528

Today, my theatre studies professor played a soundscape, then had us write what we thought the meaning was. I thought it was a simulation of what schizophrenia was like. Turns out the teacher bet her friend she could convince us that a bunch of people speaking gibberish meant something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 713

You deserved it 586

The Top

Today, I've just lost over £12,000 and it's not even halfway through the trading day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 041

You deserved it 8 752

Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad, so we went to the edge of a cliff to relieve ourselves. He peed and it came and hit me in the face. He did it on purpose, so I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 546

You deserved it 44 083

Today, I went to have my tires replaced. While I was paying, the cashier asked if I would like a warranty for the tires. I said, "Nah, only idiots who can't drive need that." While pulling out of the parking lot, I took the turn too wide and popped my tire on the median. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 3 247

Today, I was told that I was an “entitled snowflake.” I'd mentioned that after 5+ years of cancer treatment and over a dozen surgeries, I still have some physical limitations. I literally almost died but still managed to finish school and change careers, but yeah, I’m entitled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 112

Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 142

You deserved it 3 143

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 508

You deserved it 3 969

My Love Life in a Nutshell

Same thing different taste

Great gig

Stalker vibes

Rock n roll

Creep alert

Someone thinks highly of themself

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