Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I was working at 5 am at my office desk when I heard trickling water. I ran to the foyer, turned on the light, expecting to see my incontinent 16 year-old golden retriever. Instead, I witnessed my still drunk, high and comatose husband standing at the top of the stairs pissing on the carpet stairs. Again. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
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Top comments
Bebbo_fml 21
Make sure you shove them into his face while firmly saying "No!"
MegaTroller_fml 5
It's time for him to come out.
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Comments (144)
eeeeeeee 5
Awe, just like a new puppy.
ScarletBloom 14
It must be an exotic pair of shoes.
bubbywaldo 0
Do you know how drunk you have to be to pee in a closet? Alcoholic drunk. Break up with him now, not because of the shoes, but to save yourself a lifetime of alcoholic insanity.
Okayitwasme 0
Pot head
bubbywaldo 0
Ha, I may die alone, but better to have loved and lost than be married to the psycho for the rest of your life! I just know some AAers. The peeing in the closet storied are rampant. If you pee in a closet there's a damn good chance you're an alcoholic.
h0neyb 0
my boyfriend has done this twice. only on my purse.
hateevryone 15
pick up the shoes and throw it in his face.
mannykiddo 3
Wow, were you pissed?
cinthy 0
U had to be pissed
MsJoyfull 4
Nope, he was.
allan2747 7
Is he Asian
poppylamonzo 0
All the other kids with the pissed on kicks.......
Igor_g5 0
I agree with 45. Only gay guys have favorite shoes. I have a pair of shoes. They protect my feet.
aFreedom127 9
Just be glad you weren't wearing them at the time.