By Anonymous - 18/06/2014 19:06 - United States - Lake Wales

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML
I agree, your life sucks 57 466
You deserved it 5 022
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Welshite 39
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That's not how one is supposed to get fiber...

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Saone_fml 27
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Oh I'd heard a similar one. "I was outside gardening, I slipped and my trousers fell down, and I fell on the carrot and you know the rest... I don't know what prankster decided to put condoms on my carrots though."

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Welshite 39
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That's not how one is supposed to get fiber...

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ComoEsJuan 24
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Carrots are good for your eyesight.... ...your brown-eye sight.

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iOceanus 18

That's how Quagmire looks so young.

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incoherentrmblr 21

Well, vegetables are good for the colon...

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wanted_2_want 40
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#1 probably the guy had the runs and wanted something to "stop it" with. That was bad I know...

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fortune789 17
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I like how OP said "this one took the cake" hehehe carrot cake hehehehe kakakarrotkake

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junkman6 22
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Hey carrots are dangerous. Potato guns are fun... Load a carrot into a potato gun and someone's going to the hospital to get a carrot removed from their thigh. Not personal experience or anything.

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ForFudgeSake 6
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Today, the phone rang while I was showering. Since I was expecting an important call, I ran out, wet and soapy, only to slip onto a box of produce. I had to go to the hospital. They didn't believe me. FML.

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spignona84 11
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Are we ever going to find out who extracted the carrot?

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barneyAU 4
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Kakakarmenelektra

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Adam5858 17
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Ehm I am not quite sure how to feel about this.Sorry OP for those life damaging images.But what the hell was he thinking.

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Welshite 39
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He was making tossed salad in the shower.

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aruam365 24

I recently had a patient who had "sat" on a Barbie...

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MrConcise 34
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Welshite, you had three very snappy and clever comments for this FML. Are you sure you don't have experience in this particular field? ;)

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Welshite 39
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Well, I don't have much experience in carrot fields. Zucchini farmers hate me though.

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91hayek 31

"He's back Obediah! He's out there in the field, get your gun!" "Oh lawd, no! Not my best in show! Not my prized baby! Woman avert your eyes!"

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MichaelDeSanta 20
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At the hospital I work at we had someone with a cucumber stuck up there, he said it was a "gardening accident."

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sexaybitch 14
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#52 my fiancé had to get a AAA battery from an old lady's vagina because she wanted to "Store it until it leaked." it leaked.

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mybubbles2000 13
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Welshite is just very witty.

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Soobie 10
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I bet carrots are off the menu for awhile...if not forever. How could you ever look at one again and not have flashbacks?

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ukeandfoodislife 19
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Agreed. I feel awful for OP... I wonder if this is DocBastard:)

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fiftycarrots 15
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So... I'm not welcome?

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Saone_fml 27
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Oh I'd heard a similar one. "I was outside gardening, I slipped and my trousers fell down, and I fell on the carrot and you know the rest... I don't know what prankster decided to put condoms on my carrots though."

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gjikvtj 18

Yeah my prankster neighbor is a liscensed vegetable offender... look it up on the website if you dont believe me

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J215B 33
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If he wanted x-ray vision, that's the wrong end.

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cricketsins 36
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What? That story is totally believable. I mean - how else could it have gotten there?

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silvercamaro 22
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I think it would've been a much more solid cover story if he said he was taking a bubble bath

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Nordrag 26
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Sounds like you had a fun day at work.

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avila_boy22 12

him too

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yeyeboys 20

I'm not sure how I feel about this.

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bufay 21
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Ouch for you, but that guy life is more fucked now

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Fuhkyoo 17
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mostly just his ass

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Welshite 39
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At least he was being safe and washing his vegetables. Showering with them is proven to remove all germs and dirt.

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avila_boy22 12

oh yeah next he'll shower with his cucumbers

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