By Anonymous - 18/06/2014 19:06 - United States - Lake Wales

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML
I agree, your life sucks 57 427
You deserved it 5 013

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That's not how one is supposed to get fiber...

Oh I'd heard a similar one. "I was outside gardening, I slipped and my trousers fell down, and I fell on the carrot and you know the rest... I don't know what prankster decided to put condoms on my carrots though."

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That's not how one is supposed to get fiber...

Carrots are good for your eyesight.... ...your brown-eye sight.

That's how Quagmire looks so young.

Well, vegetables are good for the colon...

#1 probably the guy had the runs and wanted something to "stop it" with. That was bad I know...

I like how OP said "this one took the cake" hehehe carrot cake hehehehe kakakarrotkake

Hey carrots are dangerous. Potato guns are fun... Load a carrot into a potato gun and someone's going to the hospital to get a carrot removed from their thigh. Not personal experience or anything.

Today, the phone rang while I was showering. Since I was expecting an important call, I ran out, wet and soapy, only to slip onto a box of produce. I had to go to the hospital. They didn't believe me. FML.

Are we ever going to find out who extracted the carrot?

Kakakarmenelektra

Ehm I am not quite sure how to feel about this.Sorry OP for those life damaging images.But what the hell was he thinking.

He was making tossed salad in the shower.

I recently had a patient who had "sat" on a Barbie...

Welshite, you had three very snappy and clever comments for this FML. Are you sure you don't have experience in this particular field? ;)

Well, I don't have much experience in carrot fields. Zucchini farmers hate me though.

"He's back Obediah! He's out there in the field, get your gun!" "Oh lawd, no! Not my best in show! Not my prized baby! Woman avert your eyes!"

At the hospital I work at we had someone with a cucumber stuck up there, he said it was a "gardening accident."

#52 my fiancé had to get a AAA battery from an old lady's vagina because she wanted to "Store it until it leaked." it leaked.

Welshite is just very witty.

I bet carrots are off the menu for awhile...if not forever. How could you ever look at one again and not have flashbacks?

Agreed. I feel awful for OP... I wonder if this is DocBastard:)

So... I'm not welcome?

Oh I'd heard a similar one. "I was outside gardening, I slipped and my trousers fell down, and I fell on the carrot and you know the rest... I don't know what prankster decided to put condoms on my carrots though."

Yeah my prankster neighbor is a liscensed vegetable offender... look it up on the website if you dont believe me

If he wanted x-ray vision, that's the wrong end.

What? That story is totally believable. I mean - how else could it have gotten there?

I think it would've been a much more solid cover story if he said he was taking a bubble bath

Sounds like you had a fun day at work.

yeyeboys 20

I'm not sure how I feel about this.

Ouch for you, but that guy life is more fucked now

mostly just his ass

At least he was being safe and washing his vegetables. Showering with them is proven to remove all germs and dirt.

oh yeah next he'll shower with his cucumbers