Love and Drugs: Too good to be true

Too good to be true

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 08:00

Today, after being hella single through this pandemic, I was gently stopped by an attractive man on my way to the bus stop. He looked deep into my eyes, and I took my headphones out so I could hear him better. Then, he started moving nervously, took a breath… and offered me meth, before tweaking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 104

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/05/2009 00:11 - Canada

Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a man came up to me and asked me out. This was the first time I'd be asked out in months. I accepted. When I reached my friends they looked at me then asked, "Why were you talking to that homeless guy?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 457

You deserved it 18 203

Disappointed

By Lonelyhopeful - 05/12/2016 20:08

Today, I was driving in a busy area looking for a place to park. I happened to lock eyes with a really handsome man who was walking alongside the road. He approached my car with a huge, gorgeous smile, and as I rolled my window down, he asked, "Are you my Uber?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 657

You deserved it 977

Consider the offer

By Anonymous - 03/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I, someone who has experienced only one romantic relationship in my 35 years (which ended 8 years ago), was hit on by a homeless drug felon client at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 112

By fmylifebad - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 138

You deserved it 12 188

By vishurricanes - 10/06/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 848

You deserved it 3 236

By fuckingfloridahowihatethee - 26/04/2014 19:55 - United States - Punta Gorda

Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 414

You deserved it 5 406

Oh, hai Mark!

By SHAME! - 20/05/2019 16:02

Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 2 022

Vanilla Ice

By NotInterested - 23/08/2013 06:23 - United States

Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 082

You deserved it 4 635

Oh, hi…

By Anonymous - 28/12/2011 15:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 960

You deserved it 31 209

By Stickysituation - 23/01/2013 18:44 - United States - Depew

Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 730

You deserved it 4 496

lukey101 23

Tuesday 20 April 2021 9:29

Look it has its perks: only two sleeps till Christmas 🤣

bleachedraven 14

Tuesday 20 April 2021 9:40

To me, single means waiting for the right one...not desperate for random bus stop person 🤣

Comments

kfchicken 31

Tuesday 20 April 2021 8:38

a lot of us are single its not that bad or unusual.

bleachedraven 14

Tuesday 20 April 2021 9:40

To me, single means waiting for the right one...not desperate for random bus stop person 🤣

kfchicken 31

Tuesday 20 April 2021 9:42

can't disagree

Marcella1016 31

Tuesday 20 April 2021 15:51

“Random bus stop person” Hey everyone has a type 😂😂

lukey101 23

Tuesday 20 April 2021 9:29

Look it has its perks: only two sleeps till Christmas 🤣

bleachedraven 14

Tuesday 20 April 2021 9:39

Terrible but I had to laugh! 🤣

bleachedraven 14

Tuesday 20 April 2021 9:42

How do you "tweak away"🤣

Plop 17

Tuesday 20 April 2021 15:37

So he has a regular job as a "salesman" for his own "pharmaceutical start-up" and a steady income stream. What a catch!

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The Top

Today, I set aside a weekend to spend time with a friend. I learned that someone else is staying there: a fat, unemployed man-child who talks shit about us on Facebook, while his manipulative wife pays his bills. He got evicted from his last home when he pretended to be a ninja and cut up his neighbor's garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 61

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that mine and her father's wedding is just a big joke, and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 051

You deserved it 3 116

The Top

Today, my boyfriend was cold and distant with me, after holding me the day before and telling me to my face we were OK and that he wasn’t upset anymore. I tried to give him space originally but he insisted he didn’t need it. Now i just feel stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 124

Today, artwork that I had been working on for months was destroyed, leaving me almost in tears. The culprit? A lonely pigeon who'd got into the room and shat all over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 176

You deserved it 5 080

Today, I opened up to my best friend about my depression. Her response: "If you're so depressed, why don't you just kill yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 195

You deserved it 2 207

Today, I had been stress-eating a lot of junk food during finals week at college. I was feeling worried about my figure, and lifted up my shirt to see myself in the mirror. My boyfriend, who I didn't know was watching, promptly said, "Whoa babe, it looks like the condom broke!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 982

You deserved it 3 336

Today, I’m 24 and apparently going back to school and working a minimum wage job is still considered less than the bare minimum. It sounds like something off the internet. However, people’s actions speak even louder than their words. Sorry I wasn’t given everything or blessed with good looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 121

Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 953

You deserved it 2 512

Too good to be true

Same thing different taste

Disappointed

Consider the offer

Oh, hai Mark!

Vanilla Ice

Oh, hi…

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