Miscellaneous: Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash... - FML

By Anonymous - 15/05/2009 22:38 - United States

Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 349

You deserved it 18 079

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Same thing different taste

Get the message

By Smelly - 05/04/2022 16:00

Today, it’s my birthday. At work, at my desk, I found this beautiful gift-wrapped box and a card that read, “From all of us, we really care about you, and hope you like your present!” I opened the box. It had body shower gel, deodorant, soap, fragrance spray, and “frizz shampoo.” Hint taken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 443

By eslteacher - 13/05/2009 04:39 - Korea Republic of

Today, while teaching English in Korea, my boss gave me a birthday present from her and all of my co-workers. It was a really fancy box. It had very nice wrapping. It had a pretty bow. It was kind of heavy. It was 6 bottles of dandruff shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 927

You deserved it 8 590

By random123 - 29/11/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 163

You deserved it 7 760

By same - 21/11/2015 06:39 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 801

You deserved it 6 878

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 037

You deserved it 601

Thanks, I guess…

By Gabrielguitar - 25/04/2009 14:23 - United States

Today, it was my birthday and everyone in the office chipped in to buy me a card, and nothing but a card. It had a pre-written message on it and a space to write "Love, *insert name*" where everyone signed their names. The "Love" was crossed out and replaced with "From". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 892

You deserved it 5 318

Unhappy birthday

By Anonymous - 05/11/2019 19:00 - Australia

Today, my cleaner wished me a happy birthday. My family and friends forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 089

You deserved it 203

By Anonymous - 02/01/2015 22:46 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 166

You deserved it 2 574

HB!

By Kensie - 04/03/2009 21:48 - United States

Today, it is mine and my twin sister's birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me also pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 780

You deserved it 5 987

Oh gosh

By Anonymous - 16/02/2020 14:00

Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 690

Next

Top comments

lolwut_fail 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:01

The big bow is a nice touch.

24788 6

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:02

Either it's a gag gift or someone really is sending you a message in a hostile way.

Comments

pelica 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:01

aww!

MissyWissyKach 0

Friday 14 August 2009 16:08

mmm minty

B4SK3TB4IL 0

Monday 6 September 2010 4:57

true

katsteak 0

Thursday 5 May 2011 2:57

damn.

steierr 7

Sunday 12 June 2011 8:46

at least u get presents :( jkjkjk

Slythrr 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 21:09

your breath stinks hint hint

lolwut_fail 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:01

The big bow is a nice touch.

ccftw 0

Thursday 22 April 2010 5:52

I agree haha

24788 6

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:02

Either it's a gag gift or someone really is sending you a message in a hostile way.

Chidge 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:04

Well mate, that's oral hygene.

genesisdeleon 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:04

maybe you should gargle more often? :P

Blanadestroyer 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:05

Wait, you didn't notice the TopDentist gift card we left you too?

hayride1987 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:05

clearly you have bad breath... happy birthday!

elliebutton 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:05

Take a hint? Sorry about that though.

Trix_Disorder 20

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:07

Ouch. But you got free mouthwash!

paxromana 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:09

Hint hint? Okay, there isn't a very obvious silver lining to this dark cloud, but perhaps they didn't want to be rude and confrontational? I don't know. I probably would be the office worker to leave secret gifts with subliminal messages, too. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Now you'll have a minty fresh smile.

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The Top

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 422

You deserved it 55 330

Today, a field engineer decided to rework everyone's schedule, just because he couldn't be bothered to do a full day's work. Now two of us who would've been busy all day are sat on our phones, and he's off out on "errands". How a day goes depends on how bothered he can be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 81

The Top

Today, I spent an hour deleting 70 of my status posts from the past week so I don't look so addicted to Facebook. Damn, I need a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 805

You deserved it 42 348

Today, my mom asked me what twerking was. When I said that it was a club dance, trying to get out of telling her what it actually was, she begged me to teach her how to do it. My mom complained to my dad, who grounded me for not teaching her to twerk her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 585

You deserved it 348

Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 535

You deserved it 4 469

Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 583

You deserved it 3 518

Today, my boyfriend of 10 years has a beloved wife and a gun. I never even knew he was married or that he packed heat; others outed him. His response is not one of remorse but of self-righteousness and being outright mean to me, especially fun given my dad just died, and my uncaring mom attacks me for not supporting genocide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 288

Today, the only thing more unbearable than lockdown is lockdown with sloppy roommates, who do nothing but complain about each other behind their backs to me, and also bring up past events like a broken record. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 84