Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Today, I woke up to find my 6-year-old daughter had duct taped me to my bed and dropped my wallet down the toilet. Well played. FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML
Today, my daughter didn't clean the bathroom today, even though I told her yesterday that she needed to do it. She claims she forgot, because, she’s "slept since then.” FML
Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML
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Top comments
mightymart 5
hehe not so bad.. he could have caught you doing something else...
SlyTail 5
Ahhh kids..
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Comments (95)
pinkspaceboundro 0
haha this made me laugh, look on the bright side- she could have said something worse, so smile- and tell her about this when she brings home her first boyfriend!
dufelbag 0
soooo cute
bigantennaemay 3
ahem, hem, i feel i've announced this over a thousand times now, but.... YDI, THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR HAVING KIDS! DON'T WANT STRESS, PROBLEMS, AND MIGRAINES? DON'T HAVE KIDS! IT COULDN'T BE ANY SIMPLER THAN THAT!
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Right... Because if you don't have kids, your life's obviously a breeze.
ReynshineCutting 10
What about the people who didn't mean to get pregnant? They may not have wanted kids but shit happens. And like Jane said, life is just all sunshine and rainbows of you don't have kids. Heck, my fiancé and I don't have any and we're barely making ends meet, but it's not stressful because we don't have kids! Idiot.
jenaandtyler4eva 0
I don't get how this is bad or an fml at all because if that happened to me I would just be laughing and say yea I did
XxGuard 0
She's 6.... kids don't lie.
khaya 9
Better she said it at a supermarket than scream random things in church.
kl_beans 0
parcel and package of kids, you've got to love them!
trinity1794 0
Kids..... They say the darnest things xD
Emmy_The_Great 2
Laughing at the OP's name...
tom15 0
you should keep the door locked