Well they do say kids make you want to stay in bed all day and lose all your money but I didn’t think they meant it so literal.

They also say having kids ties you down. Again, way too literally in this story.

...Is your last name Romanova?

Wife material in training! Your wife is training her well! “If you duct tape them to the bed, you can go spend all their money at the store!” - your wife

well, they say kids are money down the drain...

You've got a little mob boss in the making.

Put all your knives on high shelves!

And ductape!

my only question is how do you sleep that heavy.
I would love to sleep deep like that.

me too!!

Satan, is that you?

Don’t get so drunk you pass out or get high around kids!

Seriously, nobody “sleeps” so soundly the do not feel their hands being duct taped. That’s either passed out drunk or high.

Kid: This is what you get for not buying that Barbie at Walmart today