Kids and Health: Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone...

By jbhadafuckedupday - 15/03/2018 01:30

Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 083

You deserved it 445

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Same thing different taste

Bustin' my ass

By Anonymous - 07/10/2020 20:01

Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 418

You deserved it 182

Work sucks

By Anonymous - 08/07/2011 19:43 - United States

Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 398

You deserved it 2 644

Shitty situation

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 22:00

Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 163

I just can't hide it

By doomeddaddy - 03/08/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 242

You deserved it 3 233

By peepants - 04/06/2019 14:00

Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 205

You deserved it 314

No good deed…

By Dinho - 15/05/2009 21:22 - United States

Today, I was in a public bathroom, when a little boy walked in and he had an 'accident'. He asked if I could help him clean it up, so I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 110

You deserved it 6 669

By Anonymous - 17/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Moonee Ponds

Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 181

You deserved it 597

Potty drama

By NeverEndingBathtime_ - 03/08/2017 20:00

Today, my two year-old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (which took me two seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 735

You deserved it 1 085

By pooplife - 30/11/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 251

You deserved it 4 962

Y'all need fiber.

By blondie875 - 26/05/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 506

You deserved it 1 371

Zekfen 17

Thursday 15 March 2018 1:36

How rude of him not to put up a slippery when shit sign.

Allie614032 34

Thursday 15 March 2018 1:43

Sounds like a shitty day.

Comments

Zekfen 17

Thursday 15 March 2018 1:36

How rude of him not to put up a slippery when shit sign.

Glowworm56 26

Thursday 15 March 2018 1:40

Well he went to the bathroom, he just forgot to tell you where!

Allie614032 34

Thursday 15 March 2018 1:43

Sounds like a shitty day.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 15 March 2018 2:35

Sounds like a ... wait on it... scatalogical circumstance! Nah, not as good as the forbidden phrase!

Lobby_Bee 17

Thursday 15 March 2018 3:16

Good boy! Hes got the right idea. Oh wait, it's a human being.

cmlcmx 4

Thursday 15 March 2018 4:31

😂

LAUGHINGKOMODO 25

Thursday 15 March 2018 4:35

With kids, there is always a good side. This being, you did not raise a liar. He may have not told you the whole story, but it doesn't matter, because you didn't ask. Hopefully nothing serious happened from the fall lol

Lalala579121 27

Thursday 15 March 2018 7:24

On the bright side, the child is already learning to omit the full truth for personal gain. He will be a great businessman someday.

Donut_Wizard 23

Thursday 15 March 2018 4:48

Is there anything worse than being knocked out by a turd?

julfunky 29

Thursday 15 March 2018 15:25

Being knocked out and landing face-down in said turd.

kujiens101 24

Thursday 15 March 2018 5:27

Don’t be mad at your son. Shit happens.

zuckerburg 21

Thursday 15 March 2018 6:05

A very important lesson you can teach your son is to look where he is going. And good on him for going to the bathroom on his own. Now next time it may be on the loo (considering he probably doesn't have his own potty and it was a bit too high for him to get on himself)