Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML
Today, my family and I were coming back from a trip to the US. As we reached the border patrol we realized that we were one passport short. The border patrol lectured us for 30 minutes about how irresponsible we were for not realizing that they had forgotten to give us one of our passports back. FML
Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML
Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
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Top comments
_DudeGuy_ 16
That's when you say "I'll need it if you want to search more of me". ;)
IronMan3758 4
That's when the Mexicans in the trunk say "yes she will!"
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Comments (90)
Wizardo 34
And that's when you start rambling on about your constitutional rights - whatever they may be and your crazy exterior gets you freed from the oppressive government fuzz...
k_lylepad 19
The rudeness of people continues to astound me. Like how is that in any way professional behavior?
AmyPond17 33
How do you know she said it if she said it "silently"? Did you read her lips?
worldclassrager 41
Better safe than sorry but still you could have shot back I don't need it now due to the fact you pulled me over...actually don't say that...it's not the best idea...just be glad you got away...
Trigabyte 8
"She searched my purse and" Manpurse? Or do you just keep condoms just in case?
Dynosaur_dollie 38
a lot of girls keep one on them in case their partner doesn't have any. Better safe than sorry.
boshbish 14
Complain to her superior. There's no need to be so rude to someone. I hope she was drop dead gorgeous for her to make a remark like that! FYL OP
cocacola999 27
Agreed. The bitch should pay. That's beyond rude.
SamCat 21
Ah nobody cares if you file complaints when it comes to customs/immigration agents. My mom got sent the inspection because she got highlights in her hair that didn't match the "black hair" in her passport lol.
jamkorytoski 4
How does one silently say something? I think I should try to master that.
kenleybunch 15
When you think of Border Control employees, its not like you think "Oh damn, sexy sexy; Lemme get a piece O' that." So i'm just going to assume that she was an ugly, jealous biatch.
dangousity 21
I was totally thinking that the border guard waddled around the car *mental image*
bruins46 6
I hope you said, "well that makes two of us."
Enslaved 38
Right answer: *silence * Wrong answer: "Not true, officer. I was going to fill it with cocaine and swallow it before returning back home. I am going to the States where that stuff is easy to find, after all."