Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML
Today, my family and I were coming back from a trip to the US. As we reached the border patrol we realized that we were one passport short. The border patrol lectured us for 30 minutes about how irresponsible we were for not realizing that they had forgotten to give us one of our passports back. FML
Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML
Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
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Top comments
_DudeGuy_ 16
That's when you say "I'll need it if you want to search more of me". ;)
IronMan3758 4
That's when the Mexicans in the trunk say "yes she will!"
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Comments (90)
fakedsincerity 32
So you mean you assumed she was thinking that. Projection.
fakedsincerity 32
Damn edited fml.
ballbearing 10
Your lucky they didn't arrest you for prostitution. Apparently, carrying condoms can be used as proof of prostitution now.
aeonsoul 12
What, who says? Works cited? Please
aeonsoul 12
*oops meant to say: what, who says? Works cited, please
BrotherPhil 35
boingboing.net/2013/03/08/nypd-will-arrest-you-for-carry.html ipsnorthamerica.net/news.php?idnews=4293 www.jiasociety.org/index.php/jias/article/download/18626/3005
yscpunkchick 14
Those women that work border crossings are such smug bitches. I know they're "just doing their job" but, jeez... you don't have to be such ***** about it.
Yelement 7
Border agents are the worst. Assholes and you can't say anything back or else they will ban you from the country or year apart your car/search you in depth. Complain to their superior and they will never agree with you
dawnalexis1 3
Am I the only one who is confused if this is a female with a condom in her purse or a male with condoms who carries a purse?
remiiiii_fml 5
women can carry condoms in case the guy doesn't have one!
dawnalexis1 3
Oh I know but if this is a man he's saying she searched his purse…
ShakeDisPlace 10
Safe sex is great sex, better wear a latex.
jonha21 11
Haha With Who?
buckdharma 38
Cops are trained to notice details, like your condom expired in 1957.
B0nb0N09 12
Hah
aeonsoul 12
Say you actually started off with 3 condoms that week ;)
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Since you said purse, I assume you're a female. In which case, technically YOU wouldn't need the condom, but the guy you might end up sleeping with. :p But still, she didn't have to be a bitch about it.
tj4234 36
in some places, purse and a wallet are used interchangeably. And in some languages, they are both the same word. It could be that OP speaks one of those languages, and for ease just uses one word in English for both. That and there is the fact that a wallet, is just a purse. It's a synonym.
B0nb0N09 12
A "female". Lol. IT'S AN ADJECTIVE NOT A NOUN OMG OMG