Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML
Today, my family and I were coming back from a trip to the US. As we reached the border patrol we realized that we were one passport short. The border patrol lectured us for 30 minutes about how irresponsible we were for not realizing that they had forgotten to give us one of our passports back. FML
Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML
Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
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Top comments
_DudeGuy_ 16
That's when you say "I'll need it if you want to search more of me". ;)
IronMan3758 4
That's when the Mexicans in the trunk say "yes she will!"
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Comments (90)
kt520 7
Legally she needs a warrant to search your purse, unless you gave her permission. She can't just search you for looking suspicious
Ray_of_midnight 23
Not at the border they don't. Border agents (of whatever country, not just the U.S.) have broad latitude to search you to make sure contraband doesn't enter the country. In particular, U.S. Fourth Amendment protections do not apply at points of entry.
Neesalun 20
She could be at the Canadian border you know.
dakotahulsey 15
That's called "flirting" genius
TogeBara 12
that is in no way, shape, or form flirting...you are way off. She had no right to say that and should be reported for insulting OP.
DeviousDreamer 13
Wow, what a jerk. :/
unixdude 9
So, when do you get out of prison for beating the cop to death?
RedDragonx32 8
and thats when u say guess how many i have in the glove conpartment.
MsPhen 7
Assuming OP is female (app normally indicates gender, but not here for some reason...) maybe she thought she was making a clever quip about OP having female genitalia and thus not needing a condom, though women are perfectly capable of supplying a condom. It's not just the man's job.
kidsgotastinky 11
What a ****
anniefml 1
Whoa!
D3ATHZ3RO 15
Law enforcement working hard