Today, as I finished putting self tanner on my legs, the phone rang. Telemarketer. After returning to the bathroom I put moisturizer on my face. As I looked in the mirror, I soon realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands. My face is now streaky orange. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML
Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML
Today, I thought I could make my own skincare products from scratch, but I ended up with a weird, greasy concoction, which left a red mark on my hands. It's been two hours and the mark is still there, despite several washes. FML
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML
Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML
Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML
Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML
Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants round my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML
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Top comments
GameRater01 0
YDI for using self tanner. Tanner cream = instant oompaloompa
Internets_ 0
I call BS. Unless you had mistaken your tanning lotion for moisturizer or unless you answer your phone with your feet this seems unlikely. You would have noticed tanning lotion on your phone when you picked it up unless you're an idiot.
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Comments (75)
Carosello 0
... self tanning is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard of... it's so fake if you can't tan, deal with it but then what would I know? I tan in an instant :) some of us are just born lucky
2legit2quitnow 0
if you use baking soda and water, it takes off any self tanner
Raine_Sage 0
#4, maybe it was, you know, an actual phone, rather than a cell phone. The OP was probably in her house when this happened, and it would make sense for a normal land-line phone to be there. Maybe it was an old-fashioned one that didn't have caller ID.
dammn 0
LMAO #10 .
Blardo 0
You should instead go to a tanner for some cancer.
waxstigmata 0
perhaps you should use some none crappy tanner, or better yet none at all, nothing wrong with pale skin, i don't see how making yourself orange is going to make you look any better, ydi for using tanner
desso 0
#15, I'm pretty sure guys aren't too fond of girls that look like wrinkly prunes, either.
pencilmustache 0
That's what you get for trying to look like an oompa loompa.
dem_fml 0
Lemon juice! It'll get that shit off.
blahnoopoo 0
you don't wear make up?? cover it up. Girls best friend. Wash you face and scrub really hard it will come off.