By lauren_rox - Canada

Hurry up

Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants round my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML
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  StaticDown  |  0

Well maybe the caller only had his house phone and how was he to know they would call when he had to do his stuff, maybe he rushed to the bathroom. Not saying I disagree with you, I hate handing out my home number since I know there's a chance people can't reach me or I won't hear it but there's a lot of possibilities as to why it happened the way it did.

By  BlowYaMind  |  0

Ew. o.O

"I mean I woke up and I shit a squirrel. I mean it. Literally. And the hell of it is- the damn thing's still alive. So now I got this shit-covered squirrel sittin' down in the office. Don't know what to name it."
"Sorry, Champ. I think I ate your chocolate squirrel."