Today, as I finished putting self tanner on my legs, the phone rang. Telemarketer. After returning to the bathroom I put moisturizer on my face. As I looked in the mirror, I soon realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands. My face is now streaky orange. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML
Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML
Today, I thought I could make my own skincare products from scratch, but I ended up with a weird, greasy concoction, which left a red mark on my hands. It's been two hours and the mark is still there, despite several washes. FML
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML
Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML
Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML
Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML
Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants round my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML
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Top comments
GameRater01 0
YDI for using self tanner. Tanner cream = instant oompaloompa
Internets_ 0
I call BS. Unless you had mistaken your tanning lotion for moisturizer or unless you answer your phone with your feet this seems unlikely. You would have noticed tanning lotion on your phone when you picked it up unless you're an idiot.
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Comments (75)
kewlcat 0
sshut up alll the people getting mad over self tanner, sun tanning, booth tanning or not tanning at all! most girls enjoy having darker skin or skin that "glows" because it makes them look more lively. i dont use self tanner just because im too scared im gonna mess up, and i also tan very easily so i dont really worry about it , but im not against it. if you want to use self tanner, good for you! if you dont want to tan (ps going on about how tanning is ugly and stuff...just stfu no one cares) good for you also! not everyone can tan or enjoys it. i think tanning is good to an extent.. not to the point where you're 10 shades darker from being in the sun for 5 hours. naat kewl. TAN = GOOD. now shut up pale people , you're just mad that you're stuck looking really white
poobear 0
you would look up and see orange if its one of the self tanners where the cream itself is colored so you see where you put it to avoid streaks on your legs. but you deserve it for not washing your hands idiot. besides as soon as you realized you could wash your face.....
Im_that_girl 0
I doesn't say she actually used the phone. I think the phone must've rang in another room and the person went to answer it but didn't because it's a telemarketer. But it seems like they would've seen the tanner on their hands when they went to put moisturizer on.
Andy_King 0
ydi for fake tanning
Danastica 0
telemarketers ftw! they ruin everything, haha one called the other day saying i bought something online and she wanted to confirm my purchase or something stupid like that. she had an obvious indian accent and told me her name was ashley lopez. haha. and i dont even have a credit card?
chitoryu12 0
And another falls victim to overly-narcissistic focus on her looks. Fake tanning cream is a lazy, ineffective way of getting a tan. Go out and spend some time on the beach, woman. Don't turn yourself into a carrot.
clumsybumsy42 0
YDI for being superficial enough to use self tanner.
cheerrunxc14 0
You would have had to put the moisturizer on your hands right? So how exactly did you NOT realize that your hands were orange?!
coopert28 0
Well now you'll look like a clown!
skaterpunk8678 0
Selftanner is gross anyways, I vote YDI.