Today, Amazon didn't deliver the present I bought my mother for Mothering Sunday, so she called me an 'Ungrateful bastard.' And about half an hour ago, I cut my thumb whilst making her lunch. She said, 'You're doing this on purpose so I feel sorry for you. Well I don't.' FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom called me a bastard because I asked for the Target gift card my dad had given to me. FML
Today, I angrily scolded one of my employees for making an avoidable mistake for the third time. Unfortunately, my mother decided to pay me a surprise visit, and arrived mid-rant. She chewed me out for being mean and made me apologize. Now everyone at work calls me "mama's boy" and nobody takes me seriously. FML
Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML
Today, I bought my mother an expensive TV she had been looking at. After I bought it, she continued browsing for more stuff. I told her I couldn't afford the extra items. She got mad and called me "selfish". FML
Today, my mother made me a delicious meal of gravy, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, and cranberries. Overjoyed, I tried to give her a hug. Instead, I accidentally punched her in the face. FML
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
Today, my mom and siblings got into a fight. Being generally quiet and non-confrontational, I stayed out of it. Shortly thereafter, I was yelled at by my mother for being "ungrateful" and "disrespectful." I still don't know what I did wrong. FML
Today, my mother called me a bad son for not telling her "Happy Mother's Day". When I told her Mother's Day wasn't until the 10th, she said that I would have forgotten anyway. FML
Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML
Today, my mom was going to take me shopping to buy a gift for my dad’s birthday, but unfortunately, I missed a spot while cleaning the kitchen. Now my mom is “embarrassed to be seen with me in public” and will buy my dad nothing, and tell him it’s because I don’t love him. FML
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Top comments
IndianRapper 0
ur moms sorta a bitch im sorry:(
BobSock 1
What is " Mothering Sunday"?
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Comments (132)
IsBitchBetter 1
OP didn't say the gift was to be delivered on Sunday, just that it wasn't delivered. The point is that OP's mother is acting like a heinous bitch.
parkg1996 0
your mom's a total bitch.
C6Racer 0
Give her some unicorns and glitter.
irokyoursox 6
I hate that commercial
C6Racer 0
I hate you.
MissBunny25 0
I hate people who hate macaroni
C6Racer 0
Good thing I love macaroni. I remember the very first bowl of mac I was gonna eat, but I dropped it on my way to the table when I was 11. I was like D: then )*:
ugliness 6
I hate macaroni >:3 jk
mintcar 10
Your mother is so kind, it's almost ridiculous.
dubsweets 0
keep the gift
heathersmorin 0
Tell your mom that her shit didn't arrive on time, then show her what you ordered. in the midst of showing her, cancel the order and tell her that's what you get for being selfish ungrateful mother that would talk to their own child that way!!
brooishu 13
Agreed.
poweys 0
you sound like a slave held under captivity by an evil witch man
TheWorldGreatest 8
Sorry to say that your mother is a dumb freaking ass.
jrmetz 0
having a bitchy attitude isn't exactly deserving of any gift, esp on 'Mothering Sunday'- trust me I have a bitch of a mother and she hasn't received jack from me for years
TheWorldGreatest 8
mine not either! not for at least 5 years . Thinking maybe none this year also.
Meowfml 8
She doesn't deserve a daughter as nice as you.