Intimacy: Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with...

By Lovejunkie - 01/03/2010 07:30 - United States

Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 697

You deserved it 8 645

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Same thing different taste

By stillkindahorny - 13/09/2011 05:51 - United States

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 795

You deserved it 4 724

Small guy

By no luck chuck - 09/10/2021 02:00 - United States

Today, I knew I was a small guy and finally about to get laid for the first time in years. Everything was going great, until she got my pants off. She stared at it, stared at me, stared back at it and said, "Yeah, that’s not gonna happen." Got dressed and left. Sadly this has happened many times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 783

You deserved it 211

By Username - 16/04/2011 08:39 - United States

Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 925

You deserved it 4 688

By Ummm - 03/08/2016 19:45 - United States - Wheaton

Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 138

You deserved it 2 892

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 387

You deserved it 6 024

Tiny Tim

By hmmmm - 13/08/2012 12:19 - Australia

Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 313

You deserved it 5 475

Let down

By Anonymous - 23/12/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I visited a friend out of state. We've been flirting for months and decided to fool around at night. He was very loving and attentive, but... he'd bragged about his dick being 6 inches and it ended up being not only thin, but very short. So thin and short that I couldn't really feel it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 372

By Better not - 24/01/2018 20:00 - United States - Kenai

Today, while on vacation with my boyfriend, I decided it would be a good time to try getting intimate with him for the first time. It turns out his penis is so small that I get more enjoyment from a tampon applicator. We're stuck in this cabin for another 5 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 200

You deserved it 2 342

Small is beautiful

By dickless wonder - 21/10/2023 10:00

Today, I met up with a girl I've been hanging out with a bunch recently. She said that we should be a couple, "unless you have a micropenis", then laughed. I actually do have a micropenis. I couldn't hold it together, and ran out of the bar, crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 171

By fuck but no fuck - 02/08/2013 19:44 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 056

You deserved it 28 332

moonshine_bek 2

Monday 1 March 2010 16:05

I don't care what anyone says, when it comes down to situations like this; size does really matter folks!

Neotoxx 5

Monday 1 March 2010 16:05

LOL I feel bad for that guy

Comments

neongurl98 10

Sunday 17 July 2011 8:34

awww!

Apple12375 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 10:09

AND??? It doesn't matter how big his parts are if you actually like him! Grow a heart!

77777771 12

Tuesday 27 September 2011 4:12

Awww poor guy

VicmahnFml 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 4:20

****** all of

milliee1706 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 0:49

Nubs ;3 i've seen one-.-

e_stone_85 3

Sunday 26 February 2012 11:33

The way i read this, is not that she has an issue with his penis size but rather that the condom won't stay on the penis. I don't fault her for wanting to keep herself protected. Hang in there hun, there are other ways to enjoy sexy times together.

cynthiastarz 10

Wednesday 13 June 2012 12:05

Its not his fault. Thats the way he was born.:(. Try try try again.

shadowch 4

Thursday 14 June 2012 17:38

This is unfair as you should be on control then... No exactly te guys fault of what he was born with... The day my girl found out i cant fit the smallest condoms they sell she wnt out and got birth control... She doesnt lie the feel of condoms anyways so it was a win win... Your just shallow and really dont care about others if this is an fml for you.

HighlandShadows 48

Tuesday 5 January 2016 2:20

Kind of jumping to conclusions here? You don't know OP's situation, maybe she can't take the pill. Some women can't because they have adverse effects.