Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML
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By
xx_Sarah_xxxxx
| 6
horny octopus, really?? well things can only get better.....
By
a_cassie
| 4
how romantic.
COMMENTS
By
SkoalThugz
| 0
his octopussy queefed on you eh
Reply
nalia18
| 8
hahahahaha!
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CarleeBugg123
| 5
Haha "eh" xD
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staceysgenesis16
| 0
hahahaha !! ohhh thats just .. awsome .. *claps*
Reply
hammy3
| 0
classy...
Reply
SkoalThugz
| 0
its the canadian in me
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dolphincheddar
| 10
fail
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SchiTzenGiglez
| 0
^^win^^
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CarleeBugg123
| 5
haha I see that 57 xD
Reply
4XxXo_OxXx4
| 0
lol...
By
a_cassie
| 4
how romantic.
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valri3
| 0
That's a keeper right there.
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ImaWiseGuy
| 5
diamond in the ruff.....
Reply
caligirl1990
| 0
sounds kinda like a set up
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misfitSuperStar
| 0
Unless he apologized, the fart would be a deal breaker. First kiss FAIL!!
Reply
zendaddy0
| 0
I thought alcohol lowered the sex drive in men
By
ImInABox
| 6
And you weren't overpowered with the smell of love and your perfume and his cologne mixed together. Oh, it was much more than that for he graced you with the smell of his farts. And you all will live happily ever after!
Reply
jenaandtyler4eva
| 0
that pwned haha good one
By
xx_Sarah_xxxxx
| 6
horny octopus, really?? well things can only get better.....
Reply
crisd666
| 0
u look cute hehe
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CryMoreFMLs
| 14
And you sound like a creeper!
Reply
staceysgenesis16
| 0
crreeeeeepeeeer ..
Reply
Daerauko
| 0
"today, I've been too shy to even speak to a girl. finally I gathered enough courage to say a girl is cute online and two people called me a creeper"
haha go to talk to a girl that's physically in front of you, or hell adult friend finder might help.
haha go to talk to a girl that's physically in front of you, or hell adult friend finder might help.
Reply
SchiTzenGiglez
| 0
haha creeper status
Reply
Tuesdays76
| 0
I didn't know beer could give 8 Arms...
Reply
eman1972
| 4
Wow, you have pretty eyes!
Reply
Link5794
| 18
Nobody cares! This isn't a fricking dating site!
Reply
dannnngthatsux
| 19
Hentai FTW!
By
JHC88
| 2
ugh, that sucks.
don't let that deter you from getting back in the dating game.
I'm sure you'll have better luck with your next date!
don't let that deter you from getting back in the dating game.
I'm sure you'll have better luck with your next date!
Reply
SkoalThugz
| 0
yeah maybe next time it'll be a horny squid!
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notsocrazee
| 0
lol
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xoxoMEGANxoxo
| 13
lol 6
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staceysgenesis16
| 0
hahahahah 6 horny squid LMAO
Reply
Monikabug
| 9
If it was worse would it be a horny jellyfish?
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kbtoyz69
| 9
no
By
sourgirl101
| 28
Is it safe to say there will not be a second date?
I've heard it's recommend that first dates should be something quick such as a cup of coffee. This way if it goes bad, you're in and out. If it goes great, you could continue it with a movie etc.... You're single now! Live it up and have fun!
I've heard it's recommend that first dates should be something quick such as a cup of coffee. This way if it goes bad, you're in and out. If it goes great, you could continue it with a movie etc.... You're single now! Live it up and have fun!
Reply
TraceCase_
| 19
Sounds like it makes sense, but OP said things were going great until he got hammered. Had they had a quick date, there probably would have been a second and the horny octopus would have just appeared then.
Reply
Igor_g5
| 0
Sounded like he wanted in and out.
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AmericanGirl69
| 0
LOL. win^^
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Igor_g5
| 0
:-)
Reply
Suavis
| 4
lol I believe that was said in sleepless in Seattle
By
mintcar
| 9
YDI for allowing him to take you to Joe's Crab Shack. Not very romantic.
Anyways, i wouldn't plan a second date if i were you. He sounds like a loser.
Anyways, i wouldn't plan a second date if i were you. He sounds like a loser.
By
mintcar
| 9
YDI for allowing him to take you to Joe's Crab Shack. Not very romantic.
Anyways, i wouldn't plan a second date if i were you. He sounds like a loser.
Anyways, i wouldn't plan a second date if i were you. He sounds like a loser.
Reply
FriskyTaco
| 0
I don't get the joes crab shack reference...
Reply
CryMoreFMLs
| 14
What the hell does Joe's Crab Shack have yo do with this FML?
It' a horny octopuss, not a horny crab....
It' a horny octopuss, not a horny crab....
Reply
mintcar
| 9
I mentioned a random place where I felt wasn't very romantic.
It was the first thing that popped in my head.
^ U MAD?
It was the first thing that popped in my head.
^ U MAD?
Reply
Monikabug
| 9
Just a heads up here, but..
It is a FIRST DATE. Romance isn't supposed to really be involved - it's about getting to know the person to see if you would want to start seeing them romantically.
Plus? Joe's Crab Shack is pretty much dinner & a show, and it's a bit pricey - & is far more romantic then Starbucks or McDonalds.
It is a FIRST DATE. Romance isn't supposed to really be involved - it's about getting to know the person to see if you would want to start seeing them romantically.
Plus? Joe's Crab Shack is pretty much dinner & a show, and it's a bit pricey - & is far more romantic then Starbucks or McDonalds.
Reply
Monikabug
| 9
And no - he's not mad. He has a case of the nerd rage. :>
Reply
docscientist
| 9
Red Lobster doesn't just have lobster on the menu and Joe's crab shack doesn't just have crab, it's seafood related, lighten the fuck up.
By
grooglius
| 0
how do u become an octopus!? I wanna learn how
By
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml
| 12
Horny octopus? O_o So, he has 7 extra penises? :O He's a keeper ^_- lmao
Reply
xX_LilSammie_Xx
| 4
lmao
Reply
Michigan_Girl
| 0
I think she meant his hands were all over her lol!