By fuck but no fuck - 02/08/2013 19:44 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks 52 056
You deserved it 28 332

Same thing different taste

Top comments


littlexlune 16

Hey at least it's pretty easy to get an erection again!

Not so easy, I bet, when you've got several bleeding lacerations on the head and shaft..... unless, of course, he's into that.

tatsumahyuu 5

Lol I am someone who is like that...

Or next time you could just get him to put it on himself, perhaps. XD

sex stories from 12 year olds warm my heart

lyvingvamp 15

It will get better OP! Then you can move on to accidentally swallowing the condom.

Not gonna lie, I gagged at the mental image.

skyeyez9 24

Sounds like something Noor would say.

Ah, just like the episode of Grey's Anatomy

More like FHP.... Or B(andage)HP(enis)....

nnnope 26

*gives 28 a "you tried" star*

awwwww is all I could say when i read this

OP should kiss it and make it better.

54 - Maybe that will get his erection back!

next time use you mouth its sexy and you wont nick his penis with your nails

Use her mouth to put a condom on? Now that takes skill

Just hope she doesn't bite it by accident :P

Just watch the teeth -- the last thing you want is a tiny hole in the thing

Not a good idea you can accidentally break the condom doing that

#13 It actually doesn't at all, you've obviously never tried it, I think it's easier than hands

The lube on them doesn't taste the greatest tho

#49, considering #13 is a guy, I don't think he has tried it.

That's why you use only your lips at first to roll it down. Then roll it down the rest of the way with your hand, if you can't figure it out. I don't keep long nails for this exact reason. I dunno how you could mangle a penis like that though just putting on a condom.

One time I tried to put the condom on with my mouth and it grossed my boyfriend out, because apparently "touching a condom with your mouth is disgusting".

well then something is wrong with your boyfriend.

It's okay OP. No one expects it to be perfect on the first go! I'm sure you'll get better with more practice :P

I wonder how long OP's nails are... I also wonder why he continued to allow OP to try putting the condom on, resulting in him being nicked again?

Nic me once shame on you. Nic me twice shame on you. Nic me a third time **** this I am done with you

Although I feel sorry for the penises that she's gonna practice on

I think he needed a different kind of protection...

I think that feels nice to be honest.

No I think it's just glamour nails I like, that's all :)

in this stiuation let him put it on and no hand jobs

morganrules123 10

Why didn't he put in on after the first time?

That's exactly what I thought. Id rather just arouse a guy and then kiss/dance or something while HE puts it on. I know how, but guys are better at it. least it would be an easy fix for OP. Just because a guy loses an erection doesn't mean he can't get it back. Cut your damn nails and file them to where they aren't sharp, lick/rub the wounds to make sure theyre ok, hand him the condom, and keep yourself busy while he puts on. Don't give up OP!