Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML
Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML
Today, my dad told me quite bluntly that, while he loved me, he never planned to have me. My mom baby-trapped him by sabotaging their birth control methods, and my existence ruined his life irrevocably and caused the functional alcoholism he has suffered with for 40 years. FML
Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML
Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML
Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML
Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with Tic Tacs. FML
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Top comments
kscott88 0
Well, it shows how much he loves you, yeah?
cashmuhlah23 0
Your dad wanted you Thats the brightside
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Comments (108)
patray_angel 0
Wow, that is pretty messed up. Granted, I am sure you are glad to be alive, but I don't know how I would feel about my dad if I found something like that out. I wonder if your mom knows? And if she does know, how long she has known.... I think if my husband did that to me, I would divorce him.
amy_shmamy 0
theres a lot left out and your name should be verycre8ive w/out the t
Weil 0
At least he did that much for you. Otherwise, you wouldn't exist to tell this story.
DONTbEMO 0
My mom didnt want me either... My father tricked her too
24788 7
What a creepy dad.
wbrycem 0
10 - No.
MonkeySpeaks 4
A) missing a pill will not get you pregnant b) there is a 24-48 period once a month where it is physically possible for a woman to get pregnant, however because there is no guaruntee WHEN ovulation occurs (the egg can only survive 24 hours without being fertilized) and because sperm are said to be able to survive UP to 7 days (inside a woman) then there is a week and a half period that can be considered the "fertlie" zone Your mother wouldnt get pregnant from missing a single pill anyway. And depending on how long she had BEEN on birth control? It can take months for the effects to wear off. Many women try for months and months after going off birth control. IS it possible to get pregnant quickly after going ofF? Yes its happened, But women have also gotten pregnant wihle being meticulous on the pill. Thats why its only 98% effective not 100%. I call BS on this one.
starberries 0
Yes, a missing pill can result in pregnancy. That's why you have to take them every day, at the same time, for maximum effectiveness.
Sessee 4
That's the story of how you were conceived, not born.
Leatherandlace 0
A lot of people have already commented this, you probably didn't even realize this yourself.
pancakelover 0
That's crazy...
neverland_fml 0
Don't you people here on FML ever learn? Drinking with your parents never makes for good results.