Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML
Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML
Today, my dad told me quite bluntly that, while he loved me, he never planned to have me. My mom baby-trapped him by sabotaging their birth control methods, and my existence ruined his life irrevocably and caused the functional alcoholism he has suffered with for 40 years. FML
Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML
Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML
Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML
Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with Tic Tacs. FML
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Top comments
kscott88 0
Well, it shows how much he loves you, yeah?
cashmuhlah23 0
Your dad wanted you Thats the brightside
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Comments (108)
notmuch 0
Why was your father in charge of handing out the pill to your mother? Is she physically impaired? Mentally challenged? What did he give her that looked EXACTLY like her birth control pill, so she didn't notice?
andyj1324 4
probably a mint ahahaha just kidding!
Balmah 0
You should thank him!
iloverichardhell 0
this is only funny if your a boy,
CupidSparrow 0
#32, he probably just gave her one from the week of sugar pills. Some bc's are all the same color so you wouldn't be able to tell it was from the wrong week.
idreamofpeace 0
Well, at least he really did want you that much! And just because your mother didn't want to get pregnant again doesn't mean that she regrets having you; a lot of mothers start really liking the idea of having a child once they're pregnant.
Zoa_fml 0
So technically this is the story of how you were conceived! There must be a whole other story as to how you were born!
gobos 0
Why did he even tell you something like that?
Puolukka 4
#35 That was my immediate first thought too...I'm glad most German birth control pills don't come with sugar pills, you just take a break for 7 days, or I'd probably be pregnant by now o.O And #32 Why wouldn't he? It's not totally abnormally weird...I mean he's her HUSBAND! I sometimes ask my husband to bring me my pills when he's headed to the bedroom where I keep them...most of the time he does bring me the whole package, but every now and then he's taken one out and given it to me.
Turner81 0
Awwww I'm sorry dude. My Mom tricked my Dad and here I am. It's all good. Hope your doing ok.
namelessfew 0
#24 is love. The mother should have left the father and pressed charges. I would have.