Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML
Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML
Today, my dad told me quite bluntly that, while he loved me, he never planned to have me. My mom baby-trapped him by sabotaging their birth control methods, and my existence ruined his life irrevocably and caused the functional alcoholism he has suffered with for 40 years. FML
Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML
Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML
Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML
Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with Tic Tacs. FML
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Top comments
kscott88 0
Well, it shows how much he loves you, yeah?
cashmuhlah23 0
Your dad wanted you Thats the brightside
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Comments (108)
arandomthot5 1
Well at least your dad wanted and hopefully loves you
Steffi 26
At-least you're the gender he wanted :P.
B0nb0N09 12
That's horrible your poor mum
143amandaott 10
THATS horrible!!!:)
doglover100 29
If he wanted a girl, what would happen if you were a boy?
fantasyworld 39
What would've happened if you turned out to be a boy?
theweasel 16
Hey! Most all of us we're complete accidents. You weren't. Yay for you!!!
unholyswiss 19
It's disgusting ***** like him that remind me how grateful I am to be pansexual, so I won't end up dating arseholes that would ruin someone else's life over their own petty selfishness. FYL and your mum's for being with that scumfuck.
ArbiterOfFML 24
I am a birth control baby. I am relatively unwanted by mother and father alike.