Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML
Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML
Today, my dad told me quite bluntly that, while he loved me, he never planned to have me. My mom baby-trapped him by sabotaging their birth control methods, and my existence ruined his life irrevocably and caused the functional alcoholism he has suffered with for 40 years. FML
Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML
Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML
Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML
Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with Tic Tacs. FML
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Top comments
kscott88 0
Well, it shows how much he loves you, yeah?
cashmuhlah23 0
Your dad wanted you Thats the brightside
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Comments (108)
smartiez 0
Oh dear lord, you poor thing. Well at least ur dad wants u....that sux thoe.
pencilmustache 0
sorry your dad is an asshole.
YungMarlon23 0
You're yur dad's successful happy decievement and yur decieved mother's unwanted mistake. It's irony with the best of both worlds :D
Dude_fml 0
obviously fate, since the chance of getting a child is low low low even if you're trying it all natural.
AnaMaree 0
Well that sucks.
EziyaMinamoto 0
Wow, that just sucks....Your mother didn't want a child and then your dad tricked her into having one. Does your mom know about this?
concrete 0
Even while on birth control, your mom could still get pregnant without missing a single dose. My mom was on birth control for many, many years because of menstrual issues and she concieved both me and my brother during that time. It's just a thought. At least your dad wanted you!
jessxoxo28 5
wow, thats terrible
SurpriseButtseks 0
That's pretty ****** up, but why wasn't your mom taking her OWN pills? I don't understand why your dad even had the opportunity to switch them.
caretoshare 0
Parents say the gayest things when they're drunk. -.- THAT WAS HORRIBLE! :O