Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML
Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML
Today, my dad told me quite bluntly that, while he loved me, he never planned to have me. My mom baby-trapped him by sabotaging their birth control methods, and my existence ruined his life irrevocably and caused the functional alcoholism he has suffered with for 40 years. FML
Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML
Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML
Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML
Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with Tic Tacs. FML
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Top comments
kscott88 0
Well, it shows how much he loves you, yeah?
cashmuhlah23 0
Your dad wanted you Thats the brightside
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Comments (108)
harlehatschi 0
dude, your dad is such a douche
proudpariah 0
Subby, you're totally lying. Although it's possible to ovulate and conceive after missing just one pill within 24-48 hours, 1.) that probability is EXTREMELY unlikely and 2.) you would be pretty screwed up if your mom continued to take active birth control pills before she knew she was pregnant with you. Unless...your dad is an extreme misogynist who switched your mom's pills for a long time and didn't allow her to make decisions about her own body. In which case, I'm sorry you both have to live with such a pig.
cashmuhlah23 0
Your dad wanted you Thats the brightside
poolshark 0
This reminds me of the Scrubs episode where Turk keeps slipping Carla birth control when she wants a baby and he's not ready: "That fig newton you're about to eat is not only fat-free but it's baby-free!" However, keeping someone from getting pregnant for a few weeks is slightly less invasive and controlling than trying to get someone get pregnant against their will. Since when do men give women their bc pills and how was she not suspicious? And don't even get me started on women's rights concerning their own bodies...
tWitt3rBuG 0
Maybe he's teaching you about the evils of the world! Lol. Don't be sad about it, i mean if they really didn't want another child, they would have went to extreme measures! Thankfully they didn't, so it shows you're totally wanted!
sovietrussian 0
#12 actually, more likely than not, nothing would happen to the baby if the mother continued to take the pill after they became pregnant.
elara15 0
#12, it is rather common for women to continue taking birth control pills not knowing they're pregnant. Oral contraceptives have NOT been linked to birth defects. I suppose you're someone who believes a barrier to reproduction is the same as abortion, no? But really, OP, this isn't a FYL. It's a FYMom'sL. Your father wanted you, your mother kept you, end of story.
ChefRyan 0
What about women skipping on purpose and the husband not knowing?
hehe_oops 2
the guy doesn't have to carry the baby for 9 months if he's tricked into having a baby and it's a lot easier for the man to just walk away when he finds out the womans pregnant, womans always stuck with the baby
rttr 18
You madam, are a dumbass. Neither side should trick the other into having a baby.
poolshark 0
#18: I vote for "equally ****** up" (same goes for the old pin hole through the condom trick).
Blanadestroyer 0
#7 Yeah!